Weddingbee boards

Okay, so I am officially in a state of P-A-N-I-C!!!  I think I am waaaaaaaaaaaaay to caught up in trying to be perceived formal and am forgetting the essence of "US". 

Background - getting married Oct 29, this year!  Invites still aren't out.  No photographer yet, DJ vs. Ipod dilemma, no officiant yet, just booked venue, started DIY flowers and am having second thoughts.  Small budget, probably 50 people attending including the wedding party.  Second wedding for me, first for my man and we are both older.  I never had a normal first wedding (pink dress, no bridal party, married in empty hotel suite, dinner at restaurant, sick as a dog with chicken pox). 

So, small wedding party, ivory wedding dress with veil.  Most will show from my side, flying in, hence the small wedding. 

SO Bees - I totally forgot about the wedding invitation in another envelope.  Is that an absolute must??  I've never played "by the rule book" so I don't think people close to me would think I would start now.  I've been corresponding with people for months via email so they knew what weekend we were getting married.  We booked later than anticipated because Saturday opened up.  Is 2 weeks prior to the wedding, about 6 weeks from now, ok for the RSVP date?  We've gotten preliminaries in attendence via email. 

Then let's discuss the DJ vs Ipod.  I would rather have a DJ.  BUT, it's hard justifying paying someone almost a quarter of our food/alcohol budget with such a small group.  I already know I will need to pay a pretty penny for the photographer, but the pictures will last a lifetime.

Bustles and wedding dresses?  How do you find a good bustle idea for your dress when you already have an "ample" caboose that doesn't need additional emphasis?

I know deep breaths.  I am trying to bite off one piece of the elephant at a time, but I feel like I am at last call with most of the bugger left!

Suggestions/ideas?

@profiterole - Thanks for your feedback.  We started interviewing DJs and Photographers today.  And, FWIW, I am sure to send positive wedding vibes to you, your wedding date is my birthday!  Happy times to you!!