Post # 1
What is this, a mini wedding before the actual wedding?
The IL’s are planning the rehearsal dinner and I really want to give my Future Mother-In-Law a chance to take the reigns and plan it. She’s really excited because she doesn’t have any daughters, so I’m trying to have her involved as much as possible not only for the rehearsal dinner, but the wedding too. Traditionally the parents of the groom plan and pay for the rehearsal dinner, which is what they are doing. That’s fine, and I’m very, very grateful.
However, every rehearsal dinner that I’ve ever been to has been on the more casual side. Buffet, pizza joint, etc. Just fun, laid back. I really don’t want to do a formal, fancy plated dinner because that’s what we’re doing the next day. I want to be able to spend time with my best friends, family and closest people before our big day.
I asked my Future Mother-In-Law what she envisioned for the rehearsal dinner, and she said she’s always thought that it had to be fancy. The last one was at a yacht club with the whole shebang. Literally a mini wedding for 30-40 people before the wedding. I just don’t think that’s necessary at all. I’d love a casual bbq or something more laid back but I don’t want to rain on her parade…
What kinds of rehearsal dinners are you planning, or have been to? What type of dinner was it, how was it set up? Was it buffet, or plated? And if it was plated, do you give guests options, like at a wedding? Do you send invites? Open bar isn’t necessary, is it?
Post # 3
I’ve never been to a rehearsal dinner. I don’t understand why it has to be fancy too. For my rehearsal, we’re only having a handful of people and just order pizza.
Post # 4
I agree with you.. rehearsal dinners are usually more casual.
Post # 5
Most of the ones that I have been to have been on the rather upscale side, but I have been to the bbq’s also. Neither is right or wrong, it just depends on the hosts. If she is hosting the party, then like you, I do think that it is her show. I think that it is really sweet of her to want to go all out for you, alot of ILs wouldn’t do that.
Post # 6
We were just going to order pizza. At my first wedding, we just went to a restaurant near the hotel we were getting married at.
Post # 7
We’re doing a BBQ or pizza at my parents’ place for the rehearsal dinner. The only other one I’ve been to was also a BBQ at the bride’s parents’ house.
Post # 8
Because my wedding is super formal, small and intimate, I too wanted something more casual. My mother and her sister are going to cook an authentic Puerto Rican meal and then we are doing lots of dancing, singing, laughing, etc. We won’t have a DJ and a regular party reception so I wanted to get that feel on the night of the rehearsal dinner.
Post # 9
I’ve been to one like this–the rehearsal dinner was way nicer than the wedding and the reception combined. The bride’s family didn’t have a lot of money and the groom’s family was very well-off, so they decided to have a super formal (black tie!) rehearsal dinner as their contribution to an otherwise very laid-back and inexpensive wedding (we’re talking a dry cake n’ punch reception in the church hall). I think the bride loved it because she got to have a classy, upscale event even though her own budget would never have allowed for something that nice.
My brother’s was also quite nicely done–centerpieces, massive dessert table, etc.–but it was just at the church where they were getting married… some ladies had decorated it nicely for the event, even though it wasn’t really an event since everyone just ate and left.
Post # 10
My Future Mother-In-Law is going all out for the rehearsal dinner. It is in the private balcony of a Southern food restaurant. My fiance and I are trying to convince her that she doesn’t need centerpeices or other fancy touches, but at the end of the day it is her party and she gets to do whatever she wants.
Post # 11
I’ve always been to more casual ones. But if she wants to do a fancy one for you let her. As long as you dont have to participate in the stress of planning it.