Invites. Essential or not?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Invites?
    Yes! : (25 votes)
    81 %
    No. : (6 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    228 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    There is little that is actually essential in weddings, however, I think that sending an invite would be really special and meaningful.  It doesnt have to be anything fancy, and as you said, quite easy to pull something together for next to nothing. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    121 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    @Jeo:  Some people really like invites and see them as keepsakes. I like invites (email, a note, whatever) so I don’t forget where I need to be and when I need to get there.

    Post # 6
    Member
    474 posts
    Helper bee

    I was just wondering this myself. I’m also having a party of 10 (including my SO and I). It’s going to be my parents, brother, SIL, and nieces. Since it’s family members I see so often I didn’t think it was necessary to send out invites. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1649 posts
    Bumble bee

    Your invitation sets the tone for your event. I frequently entertain nine people to formal dinner  (because ten is the most perfect number for formal dinner) — the table set with white linen, china and crystal and silver, and lit by candlelight; five or more courses with matching wines; hired help to wait on the table, and so on. These are “just because” parties, but naturally I write out formal third-person invitations in black ink on white formal stationery so people will know that they can dress up if they wish and expect elegance.

    I also frequently entertain people to informal supper: sometimes a single course (shamefaced blush) and served on kitchen-china. I call them up or facebook them, or extend the invitation when they just happen to be there. I am a rather formal person, so if I have time to plan a dinner I tend to arrange a higher level of formality; but I am also a hospitable person so if I have the opportunity or motive I like to invite people spontaneously with only the level of formality I can arrange on the spot.

    Which brings us back to you. What kind of a person are you? Are you planning on formality and elegance — if so, then hand-written formal invitations are the height of elegance and are certainly not “wierd” even for only eight people. They are also extremely inexpensive, since engraved invitations are an acceptable compromise for hostesses with long guestlists but still a compromise. Beautiful personal handwriting is still preferred.

    Or are you an informal spontaneous person: if so, then call people up or text them and let them know the details. Remember: there is no such thing as “wedding etiquette”. Your wedding should simply exemplify the finest and highest of the good manners that prevail in your day-to-day life. If formal invitations aren’t something that you would ever do in your day-to-day life, you should not try to adopt that particular manner just because someone has told you that “wedding etiquette” requires it.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    For a really small wedding, I would skip the formal/printed invites and DIY some cards (or just buy something) and take the time to actually write a nice message in each.

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