(Closed) Invites – help me proof them

posted 7 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Hostess
18623 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

It looks good to me.  They are so cute!

And I know what you mean about school eating your life!

Post # 4
Member
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i read it forwards and backwards and looks good to me!

Post # 5
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Great invite style! Three suggestions: “unite in marriage” rather than “are united”; it’s a little hard to tell, but I don’t see a comma after Grand Rapids, and I’m in the grammar camp where three items are separated by two commas, thus “Dinner, dancing, & general merriment”.

I sound like the grammar police, I’m sorry! (I suppose it comes with teaching writing…) Honestly if I received this as an invitation I’d only notice the seriously awesome color scheme and design, and be thrilled to attend such a chic wedding!

Post # 6
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee

They are lovely. The only thing that I don´t understand is the drawing lol! I can see one glass of wine maybe? but I can´t see what´s the other one hahaha that happens to me a lot. Other than that they are just perfect!

Post # 7
Hostess
18623 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oh I agree with BostonBaby about ‘unite in marriage’ instead of ‘are united’ so they are all in the same tense!

Post # 8
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee

They are lovely. The only thing that I don´t understand is the drawing lol! I can see one glass of wine maybe? but I can´t see what´s the other one hahaha that happens to me a lot. Other than that they are just perfect!

Post # 9
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree with “unite in” versus “are united”. Other than that, I love them!! Yay for you!

Post # 10
Member
5756 posts
Bee Keeper

No period needed after marriage, and you need  commas after Grand Rapids and dancing as well.  I’d like to know what the design is too! 🙂

Post # 11
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

I would say 

“join with them as they”  You’ve shifted from 3rd person to first person.

Post # 13
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

How about “commitment” instead of the second love?

Post # 14
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with you on the two loves being close together.  I would just say show your support and leave the second love.  Also, the previous poster is correct that you need to change it to “join them as they celebrate” because you said “and their parents”.

Post # 15
Member
990 posts
Busy bee

very cute!

Post # 16
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I might be being nit-picky, but I’m bothered by “general merriment”.  What about just saying “merriment”? 

I don’t know, like I said, I am probably being nit-picky 🙂 

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