Weddingbee boards

Hello Bees,

So, last night I get a call from my mother. Her invite had finally arrived! I was very excited to hear what her reaction would be, but was immediately let down when the first words out of her mouth were, "How could you do such a terrible job on your invites!?"

WHAT :|

Not what I had been expecting to hear!! The invites themselves were flawless. I had DIYed beautiful invites with good quality card stock, straight even backings, and matching envelopes. The only problem is that I had been in a hurry and had FI help me out towards the end. He placed all the response cards in the envelopes and I guess in our hurried pace we had an over sight: We forgot to return address and stamp the response cards. Oops!

Now my mother is upset saying that it looks like we did a "half ass" job and "how dare we expect people to pay for a stamp to return our response!" I feel terrible. All my work feels like it basically just went down the drain. I'm not sure what to do. Is my mom just being hard on me or do you think this is a major faux-paus.

Be honest bees! If you received a nice invitation with a response card that had no return address and no stamp what would you think? Would you bother RSVPing? Any suggestions on how to fix this?

Side note: Most of our guests are already confirmed because this is a destination wedding and nearly 70 guests have already booked and paid for their early bird seats because they got their original info from the STDs.

Our return mailing address is on the outer invite envelope if that helps..

Honestly, I would probably think you were in a way big hurry or so excited to have them done that maybe you just accidentally skipped mine. NOT a big deal. 

I wouldn't think twice about it.  Carving out $0.xx (don't know the rate in Canada) for a stamp won't break the bank. ;-)

@maureen9004: I think you're right. The wedding is totally stressing her out and she's gone a little nutty! She's so worried about what people think...

Thanks ladies. My stomach turned upside down over this! I know it seems trivial, but I don't want people to think that I didn't put care into these.

What are you thoughts on me possibly calling around and explaining the mistake? Would that make things more obvious?

I don't think I'd care.  I'd probably just call or email, or if I was really close with the couple and knew they were excited about getting RSVPs I'd get a stamp myself.  I can't guarantee your mom's friends (for example) would feel the same way, but I personally wouldn't be bothered by it.  Please don't think all your hard work was for nothing.  I'm sure your guests are so excited to be receiving your gorgeous invite.

As for calling around, that might be a good idea if you have guests that you think might be really offended by this, otherwise I wouldn't bother.  People will figure it out!

Your address is on the outer envelope so unless I'm totally braindead, I'm sure I'll figure out where to address and send it, lol!  Plus, maybe any cranky guests can just deduct the 44 cents from your wedding gift   Jeez - NO big deal at all, seriously!!  I'm sure most people were looking at how beautiful they turned out

Starting to feel better now! Isn't it always moms that can get you worked up over small things?? I was seriously having a hard time going to bed last night thinking everyone is going to be so dissapointed in me. I feel silly for getting that worked up now!

Thank you for everyone's input. I think maybe I'll just call around to some of the older guests who might pick up on the etiqutte aspect a tad bit more (like grandma and great aunts..). Hopefully no one else gets into a stink like my mom..

I think sometimes moms get more worked up about these kind of things.  I know my mom would have been horrified had I done this too.  It would end up being about her.  "Oh no!  All these people are going to think I didn't teach Neva any manners!  I'm so embarrassed that she made me look like a bad mother!"

Fortunately, I think people who aren't as emotionally invested are usually more relaxed about these things.  If I got your invitation, I'd just figure it was an oversight, write the return address from the outer envelope on the reply envelope, stick a stamp on it and mail it.  No harm, no foul.  Interestingly enough, even though my mom would react similarly to yours had I been the one to do this, if it had been someone else she'd say "Oh that poor thing must have been sooo excited she forgot all about the addresses!"

I'm guessing most of your guests will realize it was an oversight and find some way to let you know they are coming.  You will likely have to hunt some down, but you'd likely have had to do that even if you'd addressed and stamped everything anyway.

Hate to be the devil's advocate here but that will come off as tacky to the older guests. It's hard for people to think that you could forget after you put SO MUCH thought into the invite itself. But don't sweat it. In the grand scheme of things, this is just silly. As soon as they get a call from you, they will play it cool and tell you that they didn't even realize there was no stamp or address. Aah... older peeps.... gotta love 'em!

So just got off the telephone with my mom thinking that she's had some time to cool off. Wow, was I wrong. I'm thankful for all of your comments because I would probably be beating myself up a lot more without them.

My mom is usually so supportive and the first to find a solution to something, but she is acting the exact opposite right now. I'm actually so shocked about her reaction to me forgetting the stamps on the response envelopes. She just told me she doesn't want to speak to me and that I'm a "bloody idiot" for making us all look so bad. My mom never talks to me like this! I think the stress of the wedding must really be getting to her. She thinks that I left the stamps off on purpose to save money and that I was just being "lazy" or something. Her exact words: "The invitations were your chance to show everyone how good this wedding will be [**the travel agent made a few mistakes that made us look unorganized**] and now you just blew it. Everyone is going to think this wedding is a joke."

Hmmmmm trying to stay calm here. It's pretty ridiculous that weddings and bring the worst out in people.