Post # 1
I ran this by FI last night and suggested the rsvp card saying “X amnt of seats have been reserved in your honor” idea and he is expecting me to address some of the invites as “Mr. & Mrs. So n So & family”
uhh, what? Our guest list is tight already. He said that if he received an invite in the mail and our family ( meaning the kids i assume) wasnt invited he would be pissed. WHAT??? He said weddings are family affairs. uhh, noo, i dont think so.
If I gave people free reign of inviting their family we would be screwed!!! What would be the point of a guest list? We have discussed this and we were on the same page with certain kids etc…
How do i explain this and help him see my perspective without it potentially blowing up??
Post # 3
I think different families view weddings differently. I know that some of my family views weddings as completely family events. All the little ones should be invited, special coloring tables, etc.
My FI and I basically agree that the reception isn’t for “us” exactly, it’s really for our families. Having said that, we are only inviting guests aged 13 and older. It’s really a choice you have to make together. I would be cautious about inviting some kids but not others. That may cause more hurts feeling over not inviting any kids.
Post # 4
I think you just need to sit down together and make the guest list. You can’t exceed the number of people that can fit in the venue or the number of people you can afford. Maybe the numbers will help him. But in the end, you need to both be happy with the guest list.
If you don’t want to put “and family” you can list the specific family members who are invited on the inner envelope.
Post # 5
I think that’s an important coversation to have.
Maybe approach it that way, say, honey I hadn’t realized this before but I think you and I view weddings as very different affairs. There are many many ways of viewing and having wedding, and many different “goals” or “points” of wedding. Tell me about how you view it? Let me tell you about how I see it, I see it as a party that a couple throw to celebrate their commitment and invites their families to share but the families are not the point of this celebration and if the couple are throwing an elegant evening party it is not an apropriate place for kids since the presence of kids won’t be desired by the couple. Now, that we know how each of us feel lets talk about the kind of wedding we want to have and the point of this wedding we are throwing. Let’s try to come to an agreement and possibly a compromise.
Post # 6
What do you mean that you were on the same page with “certain kids?” That you would be intentionally excluding or including certain kids? Honestly you have to have an across the board rule. You can’t choose to invite some children and not others…
Post # 7
We have 3 kids (my soon to be step children) in our wedding and my nephew is in the wedding as well and we have kids in our family that will be there.
Our friends that have kids and they are friends with our kids and I dont know if we should invite them or not.
Do we invite them because our kids want them there or do we leave it up to the parents to decide?
Its not that we dont want kids there but who’s kids, everyones kids? certain peoples kids? just family kids?