Post # 1
We sent out invites last Saturday! It felt so good to get them out cause we were a little late. We started to get replies last week and it was so exciting!!… Until… People started asking if their friend or kids could come!? We tried to make it as clear as possible on the invites writing in “we have reserved___seats in your honor.” As many bees have suggested before!(we aren’t inviting any not family kids cause we know too many and about 4 of them were raised by wolves and would never ever invite them!)
We had one friend decide not to come cause we didn’t invite his on again off again girlfriend and her daughter (whom I’ve never met!) that’s fine if you decide not to come but don’t call asking if you can add two people when your invite clearly says 1! Grrr
I had another friend write me via face book
Just got my wedding invite!
Did you invite Justin, or can I bring him as my date?
it says I have ‘1’ seats in my honor…
so I don’t think that means I can bring a guest.
just wondered if he was coming toooooooo…
sounds like she gets it… But I replied
“He’s not invited sorry… We couldn’t invite everyone we loved so we didnt give plus one to hardly anyone. Justin and I are not as tight as you two… I don’t expect he will be hurt. But I would love to see your beautiful face there!”
(Justin is someone we went to college with in 2003, they stayed in touch but he and I didn’t really)
She has not replied to the facebook message since or mailed in her RSVP… And I’ve seen her post on Facebook since.
why are you people making me stress!?
we have had other random people try to invite themselves… Ugh so frustrating!
Thanks for letting me vent!
Why are Guest List such a huge problem? is it because you are publicly ranking your friends and family…?
Post # 3
Haha – we’re just inviting family to start and seeing how that goes for a month… sending our invites out in a couple days, see how that goes! I’ve already had people expecting an invite that I would’ve never thought of too! Oh yeah… really? I think the key is to keep saying no, sorry, really small venue/very close/small wedding, etc. Just say no! People just won’t/don’t understand unless they’ve planned a wedding, but they’ll deal with it….
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
Haha, I need to get mine out…we’re writing the names of the people invited on the RSVP cards. I’m sure people will try to add extra names. Oy…
Post # 5
I really don’t find it as rude as some do, when guests ask if their invite covers so-and-so, because not everyone is a master of the super secret hidden language of invites, inner envelopes, and seats in their honor. Don’t take it personally. They’re just asking— which is far more polite than either randomly showing up with a date, or assuming that you hate their boyfriend.
Post # 6
i am so nervous for these situations. it can be so awkward! I know that I am very understanding of others weddings and understand their invites clearly, but I feel like there are some folks that just .. dont consider numbers and etiquitte in inviting/ guests.
Post # 7
I think they do get that there are a set number of seats, that’s why they’re asking you to add on someone. Like fishbone said, it’s annoying, but at least they’re not just showing up with someone.
Post # 8
I thought my friends were smart enought to understand 1 means 1… It puts the host in a very awkward and uncomfortable position to ask for a special exception.Yes it’s better than just showing up with someone, but it’s even better to just do what the card says… Come or don’t…
I don’t like to say no to people but I can’t feed and extra 5 or 50 people!
Post # 9
I’m allowing all guests a +1 but NO KIDS AT ALL. I’m nervous of how that will go down. These threads just make me more anxious/nervous.
Post # 10
I am so nervous about this!! Sending ours out in April..Oh boyyy.
Post # 11
@SageMustard: I have a feeling that what you wrote is going to be my near future! Invites going out in about two weeks. I did the exact same thing as you with “we have reserved ____ seats in your honor” mainly- b/c of kids. In total if everyone that would come brought their kids, we’d have about 20- that’s too stressful just thinking about it!
Sounds like you are handling it well though, keep on 😉
Post # 12
@LavenderBride24: thanks, I’m doing my best not to get too overwhelmed by it but I do feel guilty like I’m letting people down cause we can’t afford to give plus 1s.
@gelaine22: that’s really nice that you can offer that to your guests!
Post # 13
@SageMustard: yes, but I’m sure I will go through a lot of frustrating messages/calls bc of no children so it will still be annoying!
Post # 14
@SageMustard: Do not feel bad or guilty. They are the ones who are being rude, by questioning your guest list and intellegence. Clearly if you indicated 1 seat, then obviously Fritz their neighbour is not invited.
You are being perfectly polite. They are being boors.
Post # 15
@andielovesj: haha thanks, “boors” I like that term!
Post # 16
@fishbone: Me too.
I also don’t get why it is so upsetting to many. Isn’t it nice to know that lots of people even ones not invited want to come and see you get married and celebrate with you? Why is that such a bad thing?