Post # 1
I have a quick question for those of you out there who use two names. My legal/Vietnamese name is A—- and my "American" name is Annie. I go by both of these names equally… to my family and friends of the family, I am A—-, and to my friends, classmates, co-workers, I am Annie. Bottom line is… I don’t know which name to use for my invites! If I use my Viet name, only a handful of my friends will know whose wedding they’re invited to and if I use my "American" name, my family friends won’t know who "Annie" is.
I was thinking about doing a sort of combo. Possibly using my legal/Viet name in the invites, but having a monogram with my American name? Or should I write my name as A—- Annie Middlename Lastname on the invite? Which name would I put first? Would I use parentheses? Help! This is such a lame thing but it’s driving me crazy! Is anyone else in a similar situation?
Post # 3
I ran across this when I had to address my invites. So for relatives with nicknames, I’d put…
Legal first name "known-as name or nickname" last name.
I think it also depends on the formality of the wedding. Although making sure everyone knows who is sending the invite is a good idea.
Post # 4
Thanks for the feedback, Angel… but I’m actually referring to my own name for our invites. Something like:
Together with their families
Brian Middlename Lastname
A—-/Annie Middlename Lastname
request the pleasure of your company at their wedding
The bolded part is what I’m having trouble with. We’re not doing outer/inner envelopes and our wedding is semi-formal, so we’re just going to address them according to how we "call" our guests. I just don’t know what to call myself, I guess.
Post # 5
I know you don’t want to post your whole name – but I really think it is how you should base your decision. I think it should go first name nickname something last name. First and nickname should definitely be on there, but you can edit the middle name (leave out, use initial based on what you think will flow better. I would not use a slash between your first and nickname. And your given name should come first.
Just think – I can’t write my own name wrong. Type it a couple ways and see what looks better.
Post # 6
How about you put your legal name on the invitations, but make sure the return address on the envelopes has your nickname? That way everyone will know who it’s from, but you’ll have the more formal version on your invites.
Post # 7
briannie – i didn’t put my chinese name on the invite…if i put my chinese and american name, it’ll be too long…but i did do a chinese insert which includes my chinese name….
Post # 8
Wouldn’t people know you by your last name too? Maybe I’m being too "American" here and your last name is common in your culture.
You could do Real Name (Nickname) Last Name. I’ve seen that done. One of our friends even had his name be (I have no idea how he convinced his FI to allow this): First "The Hammer" Last. We died laughing when we saw that.
Do what you want. The days of having to follow the rules are over.
Post # 9
Right, I thought it could apply to you as well.
Post # 10
Could you hyphenate your first name on the invites?
– Annie Middlename Lastname
or maybe put A—- Middlename Lastname on the invite itself and maybe on the RSVP or other insert say something to the effect of
"We’re excited to celebrate with you!
Love, Annie and Futurehubby"
That way you get both without being terribly confusing… although, maybe that just makes it more confusing. I think, personally, I’d get it, though.
Post # 11
I’m just winging it here, but can you do two sets of invitations, one with each name? If you are either DIY-ing or don’t have a really small guest list (such that you would have fewer than 50 of each) its probably possible.
Otherwise I would put your legal name first, your nickname second, and maybe skip your middle name if the four names together seem too long for the invitation format. Then your situation isn’t that different (for half your guests) from someone who just goes by their middle name, which is pretty common in my family. Sometimes I do have to read the invitations twice to figure out who is getting married!
Post # 12
Thanks everyone, for the great answers. I think we’ll end up doing a hybird sort of thing… I might just list Legalname Annie Middlename Lastname because FI has two middle names and we’re writing his full name on the invites. I can’t just hope people will figure out who I am based on my last name because I have the most common Vietnamese last name EVER. Haha.
But thanks again, everyone! 🙂
Post # 13
Well, if you both end up with four names on the invite, then it will be perfectly symmetrical, yes? I actually have two middle names, but am just using one on the invite (I think) because they are both long, and FI’s first and middle names are really short, and he thought I was getting more than my fair share of space or something with all the names.