Post # 1
I’m finalizing my guest list in preparation for sending invites. For STDs, I just sent one to my friends and only included SOs if I knew them (or married/engaged, of course).But now it’s time for invites.
I don’t want to put “and guest” on invites if I can avoid it, and we’re not inviting random +1s (i.e., not SOs). How do I find out if a few of my friends are in a relationship? I’m 99% sure I’d know (I mean, we’re friends!), but some I talk to less often than others.
I just don’t want to offend anyone by accidentally leaving their SO off the invite, but I also can’t think of a polite way to say “Hey, are you still single?”
Am I overthinking this?
Post # 3
Do you have mutual friends who are closer to the friends in question? Perhaps they might know if “Sally” or “Joe” are still single or if they are in relationships. Thinking about it from the flip side, I think I would be a bit put off if a friend called me up and asked about the status of my love life for no other reason than to make me come to their wedding alone if I didn’t have someone! (Not that I’m saying your friends would do this – I’m just an emotionally charged person). 🙂
I’d try the mutual friends route…and maybe FB stalk or something!
Post # 4
I would try searching them on Facebook maybe they have their relationship listed in the info part.
Post # 5
send them a Facebook message or call.
Post # 6
I asked a mutual friend. If they didn’t know for sure, I bit the bullet and directly asked them. (It was largely DH’s friends, mine I all knew their dating status.) I was once invited as “and guest” by someone who knew me separately as a friend and it really hurt, so I didn’t want to do that to anyone. We only invited those truly single as “and guest.”
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
If you’ve never met their SO (and therefore don’t know if they’re in a serious relationship) it’s perfectly ok to not put them on the invite– unless they’re married and you don’t know it (doubtful!) then your friends shouldn’t be offended.
Don’t over think it! 🙂
Post # 8
Luckily, all of my guests listed their SO’s on Facebook within their profile. Did you try looking there first?
Post # 9
a lot of people don’t necessary list who they are with on FB, just FYI. I am assuming either you or FI are friends with these people on FB. If you don’t see a lot of GF or BF pictures on FB, I think it’s safe to assume they don’t have a steady date.
If you don’t like to ask, I think it’s okay to send invite to just 1 and then if they want to bring their GF/BF, they will ask for the +1 seat?
If you want to go thru the troubles then ask them if they are seeing anyone? (I ran into this with a ex-coworker and I decided not to invite her on-and-off plus 1 since I don’t want stranger at my wedding + that person has a drinking problem :P)
Post # 10
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
If you don’t know about/haven’t met someone’s plus one at this point, I think you’re okay with keeping them off the guest list. We kept our plus ones to relationships of a year or more. After we made the guest list (January), we found out that four friends had started dating people- three have already broken up.
Post # 11
I think you can just ask them something like “Hey Bob! I’m putting the final touches on my wedding invitations and just wanted to see if you were bringing a guest and if so, what is her/his name?”
Something like that is fine, I would think!
Post # 12
Yeah… if they don’t know their guests name by now, they’re probably not worth the ~$100 you’d be stuck paying to meet/possibly never see them again….