- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
Gaaaah, I am really worried with what you bees might say about this but I got to ask so I can get out of my own head.
My wedding is going to be very small. We’re looking at 36 people including groom and I. Almost everyone is married (since it is mainly family coming to the wedding) and those who aren’t married are with signifigant others and they are invited as well.
My mom is single and does not have a +1 to bring to the wedding, lately she has been getting on my case about inviting her family to my wedding and since I was a little girl my feelings on this matter have been very clear: No one from my side of the family is allowed to come, ever. She has known this before I even started dating that when it came time for me to get married that I don’t want those back-stabbing, two-faced, judgemental nubs to be in my wedding. I hate them. They’ve made it clear they don’t like me either and that is fine, it has been this way since I can remember. They’ve always looked down on me for being a love child out of wed-lock and have voiced their opinions about me and how I was raised so loudly that I have come to this conclusion: I don’t like you, you don’t like me, let’s never see each other again.
Now I am starting to dwell on it though. The family that is invited to our wedding is my FI’s family, and though recently we’ve been having our problems with his family I still love them and think they are far better then my family ever was or ever could be. Saying this though I am realizing that my mom won’t know anyone at the wedding. She has met my FI’s family before but in light of our recent troubles with FI’s family she doesn’t like any of them and doesn’t really want to talk to them. Which I understand, so this means she will generally be alone at the wedding and would like a family member to come with her as an escort.
Bleh. Should I fore-go my selfish decree of no family and let her invite one family member to the wedding? I can’t even believe I am thinking this but it is my mom none the less. Before you post though, please for the love of everything Holy do not tell me “what is the worse that could happen if ONE family member will go?” because I know problems will arise within my own family if not on the wedding day with anyone from my family coming to the wedding. They are full of drama, at the very least I can see any one of my family members talking behind my back on my wedding day telling others how terrible I look in my dress, how ugly my decorations are and how they would have done it better. They love to talk shit, they really do and big events like a wedding just gives them cannon fodder, they never hold any punches back and will let everyone BUT you know that they have a problem with you, plus I am sure that if I invite a family member they will regail my new family with embarressing stories of me, and will make sure to leave a bad impression about me to my new family. How am I so confident in this playing out? I’ve seen them do it at other’s family member’s weddings, they don’t like me at all, and this is what they do ALL THE TIME. They are bad people, plain and simple.
I asked my mom if she could invite any co-workers / friends and she said she doesn’t have any friends who are single to take her to the wedding.
What have you bees done in similar situations?
I really, really do not want to let her bring anyone from my side of the family to the wedding and my FI said he is fine with that, he can’t stand my family so we’d both be so much happier if we could have a drama-free wedding. There are too many variables to consider if we invite someone from my side of the family…And honestly I don’t want to be thinking to myself “What are they saying?” / “What are they doing?” the entire night of the wedding, and yes I will worry about this because I don’t want someone from my side of the family making me look bad, or having them talk crap about me at my own damn wedding. Is that too much to ask? To have people at my wedding that love me? That wish good things for me? Not people who are there for the free food which we can barely afford?
As you can tell this is a very sensitive situation for me.