Weddingbee boards

Hmm... interesting topic.  the other posters have a good point.  Although as a BM, I think you have earned the right to bring a date.  You've probably done a lot for the bride.  I feel you should feel comfortable, if having a date does that for you, then you should be able to bring one. 

I don't think it's kind for brides to feel like the BMs should feel "devoted" the entire day to them.  Especially one who doesn't know other people there.  What happens come dinner and dancing?  Pictures are done...getting ready is done.... ceremony done....emotions and nerves under control.... now it's time to have a good time and cut loose. 

However, I do agree that you need to consider whether or not this will be a good time for him.  Unfortunately it's three hours away.  (Not as easy to just meet you at the reception...)  How is the timeline for that day?  Will he be spending much time by himself?  You said you don't know other guests.  Anyone?  Another guy for him to bum around with?  Is the location a place where he might enjoy something during the day, while he's waiting around?  Free tours at a local brewery?  Hiking trails? 

I also think that if inviting him requires you to share a room, that's asking for trouble.  I'm thinking you might find this to be a good excuse to spark a relationship with this guy.  (Makings for a cute movie, right?)  You can put on a good front that he's doing you a favor because you won't know anyone, but really you are hoping for something more.  A three hour car drive...both ways...dancing...romantic wedding. Am I right?  Nothing is wrong with wanting to date him.  This might be a good oportunity.  But try to think it all out objectively, first.  It might make a wrong impression to be so bold as  to ask he go to this wedding as friend, but then suggest one hotel room.  Also, he might initally be excited to start something up with you, but being a "first date", he might get annoyed if you can't spend that much time with him.  (Sorry if I read this wrong.)

Also, with all of this excitement, make sure you aren't losing focus of the day.  You don't want to flake out on your bride.

My opinion is if you are allowed to bring a date, and it's feasible that your date won't have to spend too much time alone. (Or if he knows ahead of time how the day will be and is OK with that), then it would be fine to invite him.  

And let us know how it all works out!

So what do (or will the invitations say)?  Guest or no guest?  Or you could ask the bride ahead of time.  See I think if the invitation says and guest, the invitee should be free to bring someone, regardless of whether or not this is a serious, quasi-serious, or first date kind of relationship.  I think even people bringing first dates, or friends, is usually meaningful to them.  Most of those people are going to feel more comfortable at the wedding.  They'll have someone to dance with or chum around with.  And this can be helpful even for people who do know others at the wedding.  They'll still have someone to be with, while all of their other relatives are on the dance floor.  Not to mention it will get Aunt Edith off their backs about not "having anyone at your age"..... 

While I understand if for financial reasons, a guest list needs to cut down or eliminate "and guest", if you have "and guests" and (IMO you should try) it's about the comfort of the guest, not the randomness of the acquiantence to the bride and groom.  I just feel "and guest" shouldn't mean "and guest, but only if they know the bride and groom, otherwise is strictly prohibited without the written consent and authorization by bride and groom prior to wedding, in meeting strict admittance criteria to avoid rascals and freeloaders."

That is a bit strange.  On a less creepy side... Were you maybe just drunk (and therefore can't remember)?  But that you two were kissing and what not, when he decided that he couldn't take advantage of a virgin while she was drunk?  If you weren't a virgin would he have had no problem?

I can't say I know what to make of it.  You said you talked to him about it once.  Did everything seemed to get worked out?  I think if you were having an intimate conversation about having sex, or why you didn't, you could take a turn to talk about how you two feel about each other.  Maybe he still feels awkward or embarrassed about the night at the hotel?  Is it possible he did some things (since you don't have any memory) that he's not admitting to? (Like touching or looking at things he shouldn't have been?)