(Closed) Inviting a separated guest?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think if they are not actually divorced, you should use Mrs.  If you are close enough to the person, maybe just ask her??

Post # 6
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Why not just write her first and last name? 

Post # 7
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I had a friend going through a divorce at the time of the wedding, and when asking for her new address she requested that I send it to her with her maiden name…so I did. 🙂 She was so happy to get it addressed that way and admitted to feeling awkward for requesting it, but I’m glad she did. I was going to anyway because I figured if she changed it on all her social media (changed it back on FB, etc) then that’s what she’d prefer.

Post # 8
11343 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@MrsDrRose612:  Well, as long as she is married, her formal social title would be properly expressed in the form of Mrs. John Doe.  However, if she’s separated and in the midst of a divorce, she likely would not want to be identified by her husband’s first name.  It also would be proper, and, in this case, more sensitive, to refer to her as Ms. Jane Doe, so I would recommend using that approach. (BTW, a divorced woman’s formal social title — if she keeps her ex-husband’s last name — would be either Mrs. Jane Doe or Ms. Jane Doe, whichever she prefers.)

Post # 9
1866 posts
Buzzing bee

@MrsDrRose612:  She’s still technically married so she is a Mrs.  

Post # 10
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

This is a tough situation, if you use Mrs. she might get upset seeing it that way, if you use Ms. she might get upset that she has to be called Ms. from here on out.  I’d ask your Mom’s opinion or see if she can ask her.  If you don’t want to ask and still aren’t sure, I’d leave off the title and if she brings it up explain that you didn’t want to upset her either way.  I’m sure you’re putting more thought into this than she would, although when I received my first mail with Ms. on it after my husband died I absolutely noticed and had a mini freakout session…although totally different circumstances.  


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