Post # 1
It’s not as bad as it sounds, I think. But my OHTB and his family (more his family) have remained in contact with his ex since they broke up. Of course at first it bothered me, but I soon saw that it wasnt a problem at all. She’s more an old family friend than anything, and she herself has remarried and has a family.
The question is, do we invite her to the wedding? She’s very pleasent and everything, my OHTB say’s he’ll do whatever I’m comfortable with, he doesnt mind if she’s there or not. It’s his family more than anything. His mum has never resented me or anything, but whenver her name comes up in conversation, she lights up and will waffle on about what a wonderful person she is for ages.
We have people on the guest list than we’re in contact with less than compared to her, so it might look a bit odd, but in all honesty, I dont want her there, but I dont want anyone to be upset by it? It might look a bit catty if I dont invite her…
Any sugesstions highly appreciated!
Post # 3
@smilesjb: I wouldn’t invite her. She’s his family’s friend – not his or yours. Bottom line – you don’t want her there, your FI doesn’t care, so there’s no need to invite her.
If the two of you are making up the guest list, simply don’t add her. If you are allowing his family to give you a guest list, then your FI needs to have a quiet word with his parents that she’s not going to be extended an invitation so not to add her and that this decision is firm and not open to debate.
Post # 4
If you guys aren’t close with her then I wouldn’t bother.
My ex is coming to our wedding, FI and I are good friends with him and have a lot of mutual friends, it would have been weird if we didn’t invite him, really, so I’m not saying it because she is his ex, I just think that if you aren’t close with her then why bother inviting her?
If you are though, disregard that and invite her.
Post # 5
@smilesjb: If it’s mainly his family who’s stayed in contact, you’ve got a legitimate reason not to invite her. My parents only got a very small number of invites (aside from relatives), and I suspect most weddings are similar.
I wouldn’t invite her because I wouldn’t want to see FMIL fawning over her at the reception. Just inappropriate.
The people you see less than her shouldn’t be a problem. I suspect no one except FI and you will know that you see them less.
Post # 6
im confused. What’s ohtb stand for?