Post # 1
I have 2 direct bosses of equal importance, R & A.
I sit right in front of R’s office, and we talk all the time. I’ve met his entire family, gone to Mets games with them and he & his wife had us up to their summer house last year. His 5 yr old daughter always runs to see me when she comes in to visit, and his older daughter send me a congrats letter from camp when he told her I got engaged.
While I’ve worked for them both the same amount of time, I’e never met A’s family though I’ve talked to his wife on the phone a few times. They’ve never come to the office holiday parties, and he’s never introduced me when his family has stopped by the office (his office is down the hall around the corner, so I didn’t even catch a glimpse of them)
I live (and work) in NYC but will be getting married in our hometown of Pittsburgh, PA which is a 90 min plane ride or 7 hr drive away. My question is: should I invite them? Both, just R or neither? If it were a local wedding I’d aboslutely invite R and prolly still A; however with the travel required to attend, I’m afraid of appearing gift-grabbing by inviting them to a wedding I’m 99% sure they won’t attend. Of course, because R and his whole family have been so excited about our engagement, I’m afraid it’ll appear rude if I snub them. Then, if I do invite R, because he and A are both my equal boss, I’m afraid it’ll be considered rude to leave him out.
Post # 3
Same situation, I’m getting married 1 hr plane ride and 8hrs drive away. But I’m actually inviting everyone that I would have invite had the wedding been local. I think it’s their choice if they want to come. 🙂
Post # 4
I would say invite both, so you don’t favor one over the other. It’s their choice if they want to come or not. I think since you work with them on a daily basis it won’t appear gift grabby or anything.
Post # 5
Thanks. I guess I should add that I work for a PE firm with ppl that are literally on the Forbes 500 list as the wealthiest ppl in the world; I hear them complain about being solicited for money ALL THE TIME. I’m just afraid inviting them knowing the won’t come will seem like I’m asking for $$.
Post # 6
Being invited doesn’t mean they have to come. You could even make sure to mention that you would be very happy if they could come to celebrate with you, but you understand that it is a long distance. That is what i’m doing with my bosses.
Post # 7
I think you have a greater risk of them being offended for NOT inviting them then you do of them thinking you’re deliberately trying to get gifts! It seems absolutely reasonable for you to invite them 🙂
Post # 8
Definitely invite them both. Doesn’t make you look gift grabby at all, it is quite sweet.
Post # 9
Yeah, unfortuantely, when it comes to coworkers and bosses and stuff, it’s an either all or nothing deal. If it were me, I wouldn’t invite either of them, and if they ask, I would just say, “Gosh, we really wanted to invite so many other people, but we’ve decided for a variety of reasons to make it very close family friends and family only.”
But it really sounds like you want to invite R, which means you’ll have to invite A. And in all honesty, I would be utterly shocked if A came. And if R comes, well that seems like it’s fine with you 🙂