Post # 1
What is the etiquette for inviting children to the wedding?
There will definitely be children at the wedding. My goddaughter/niece is 5 and she is our Flower Girl. Her sister will be almost 4 and will also be in attendance. In addition to that I have 3 nephews under 18 (almost 13, 15 and 16) and they will all be there.
Now beyond that, we weren’t originally inviting kids. However, my cousin from CA is planning his summer visit around our wedding and he has a son around 12 or 13. My family was saying that he should probably be invited because of that and at my shower my aunt (cousin’s mom) said something to the effect of how their son is looking forward to it too when I said how glad I was that my cousin and his wife would be able to come.
In addition to that my other cousin’s long-term girlfriend’s stepdaughter my family says we should invite. She came to my wedding shower at my cousin’s gf’s request. She is around 15.
I just checked our guest list and there are 9 additional invited couples with children. Of the 9, I’m reasonably sure two of the couples won’t be coming (they’re pretty distantly out of state). Should I invite everyone with their kids since we apparently are inviting some kids or should we just invite the parents and then if anyone calls and asks, make a decision then? Or is it an all or none thing that we should invite all children of guests or none at all?
I had originally told my Future Mother-In-Law that we were only having my nieces and nephews at the wedding but I don’t want to cause a problem if someone else had wanted to bring their kid and they show up and are a couple of other kids there.
Post # 3
I think if you invite some, you have to invite all! Otherwise the other parents will scream about it being unfair.
Post # 4
Honestly, I think it is entirely up to you. Unfortunately it’s impossible to make everyone happy. My fiance has 6 brothers and sisters with 14 nieces and nephews under 14 and I have 1 nephew who is 2 from out of town. We decided to allow these children to come because it’s important to have our immediate family with us (and several are in the wedding party). We also invited out of town guests with children (it can be difficult to find child care out of town and not everyone will be comfortable with allowing you to choose childcare for them). In town guests with children will not have their children invited (and really they likely won’t know other children are invited until the day of).
Our choice was also due to the fact that we would wind up an additional 20 kids (we already have 15) which would put us way over our 110 guest limit. Hopefully a lot of the parents will be excited about a night out without the kids! And I would really hope they would be able respect your decision on the happiest day of your life!!
Post # 5
The general rule is that if you invite some, you should invite all. That being said, with only 9 extra invitees with kids, and a few of those 9 not attending, what are the odds that many will actually show up? Some couples prefer to leave the kids at home, after all.
Post # 6
Children should be invited in ‘circles’. We are doing children of family only, plus our neighbors’ twin daughters, who will be 12 or 13. There won’t be a whole lot of kids there (I know one cousin is very excited to leave the kids home) but we aren’t, for example, inviting children of our friends.
Post # 7
@futuremrsfitz18: That would actually work out pretty well for me. Since six of the nine people left who have children are not family members. Yay!
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
@futuremrsfitz18: Agreed- if you limit children, it’s best to just include family, and/or bridal party (flower girls, etc.)