Post # 1
I know many people have had the debate about inviting co-workers to their wedding… Here’s my situation:
There are about 20 people in my department- too many to invite everyone. I’m very close with about 4 co-workers and will be inviting them. The situation I am having is with supervisors. There are 2 supervisors who supervise us lower-down people. I’m not a big fan of my direct supervisor (call her A), but get along really well with the other supervisor (call her B). Supervisor A is my direct supervisor, she occasionally asks about my wedding but in the way that she really doesn’t care but is just asking to be polite. She can be a bitch and we are not that close- strictly keep it work related. The 4 co-workers I will be inviting do not like her either. Supervisor B is amazing, a great person, and is very interested in my wedding. Although B is not my direct supervisor, I am definitely inviting her. I feel like if I invite her, I have to invite my direct supervisor A, even though I don’t want to. Like I said, the 4 co-workers & supervisor B don’t really like supervisor A- so I don’t think they would be talking about my wedding with her. I’m just not sure if I need to invite her or not. What do you think? Help please!
Post # 3
Ugh I think you have to 🙁 just bc that would be SUPER awkward if she knows the other one was invited. Maybe she would know you’re just trying to be nice and just say no.
Post # 4
That’s what I’m hoping for if I do invite her (which I was originally planning). She will probably figure out that she is not really wanted as her “group” of friends in our department aren’t invited (i don’t like them either).
Post # 5
I would say that if you are going to invite one, then you may have to invite both. I agree with Pom.
Post # 6
I’m in the exact same boat as you, but I have made the firm decision to not invite my direct supervisor. I’ve invited everyone else in my department, because they’re good, kind and genuine people. If we weren’t working together, I’d still want them at my wedding.
As I see it, there’s no requirement to invite your boss. I’m sure you feel a little bit guilty because it seems rude and insensitive (I know I feel that way), but you’re not obligated. You’re inviting friends and family – Supervisor A doesn’t fall into either category.
Post # 7
I would not invite someone I didn’t like to my wedding. If you dislike your boss and keep a strictly professional relationship with you, it is doubtful that they love you either. So I doubt they are clamouring to go to your wedding.
Speaking as a supervisor, I often feel obligated to attend weddings of my subs. Not because I really want to, but out of obligation. I frequently respond no, unless there is an actual relationship with the worker.
Etiquette also does not rule on this issue. Only that you don’t bring up events in front of people who are not invited. It sounds like you don’t really speak with this person much. So you don’t have to invite them.
Post # 8
Agreed. She may guess she’s only invited out of politesse anyway.
Post # 9
YEY! So I invited my supervisor and I just found out she’s not coming! yey!! She gave an excuse… which was probably made up- but I’m totally fine with that! Now the party can get started 😉