Post # 1
So as I start to draft my guest list, knowing my family is already a HUGE portion (around 170 people) of the people we can afford to invite, I was wondering what people thought about co-workers.
I work for a very small organization. There are 17 of us on staff, and therefore we have all gotten pretty close in the 3 years I’ve worked here. What is to be said about inviting all or some to the wedding?
I can see value in inviting only the hadnful of co-workers I am close to, or who have been really helpful thorough out the planning, but I feel like it might be taken as rude if I don’t invite anyone else. I also have to co-workers I’m not close to at all who I would have a hard time inviting just to be nice. I also have one co-worker who has already just sort of assumed she is invited…
Another co-worker got married last summer and she only invited her department. It was pretty hush-hush, but no one seemed to be offended. I am at a loss for what is the best thing to do!
What have others done? Do you think it’s ok to pick and choose? Should I just invite everyone, knowing some won’t come?
Post # 3
I only invited the coworkers that I actually consider to be friends. The ones I hang out with outside of work. The ones I have actual friendships with. I did not make a big deal about my wedding at work. Most people didn’t know when the date was. The friends from work that attended were discreet. They didn’t return to work talking to others about the event. Everyone went back to work and it was business as usual.
Post # 4
I’d say only invite those you socialize with outside of work.
Post # 5
I work in an office of about 20 and I invited those that I’m close to (about half the office…I’ve been here 10 years). I was always told to think of it like this – invite whomever you would normally go out to dinner with, spend time outside of work with.
Post # 6
@milesbella: And everyone seemed okay in the office??
I fear passive-aggressive Minnesotan behavior out of people 😀
Post # 7
@KatieJean: My invites went out 3 weeks ago. I haven’t heard anyone complain, but I doubt they would complain to my face anyway. There is one older guy that I’m not particularly close to, but he talks to me about the wedding on a regular basis (asking if everything is taken care of, if I’m nervous, etc.) He’s not invited and he knows that a few others are (that I go to lunch with regularly, we do things outside of work) and he hasn’t said anything negative about it.
Since I’ve worked here 10 years, some of these coworkers are my extended family. I know their spouses, I know their children, they’re an important part of my life. Others, I could really care less about, I may have met their spouse but I wouldn’t consider myself close to them. I treated my workplace just like the rest of my friends – invited only those that I consider myself close with.
Post # 8
Thank you!! I appreciate the advice. It so helpful to hear what has worked for others…
Post # 9
I’m worried about the same thing.. except I work at an elementary school with like 35+ other people between teachers, administrators, assistants, etc. I finally came to the conclusion that as much as I love everyone I work with, I really can’t afford to invite all of them. I decided to just invite the ones I have directly worked with on my grade level team over the course of the 3 years I’ve been teaching there. I’m hoping it doesn’t cause issues, but frankly it’s out of my hands. I simply can’t justify adding almost 70 more people to my list between co-workers and their significant others/husbands/wives (almost everyone I work with is already married, so it’s not even like I could just cut out boyfriends/girlfriends and be ok!).
Post # 10
I’m having the exact same issue. I’ve been at my company for 8 years and work in an office of about 7 but then there are the owners and the shop guys. I figured I’d invite the whole office and the owners, but then there are a couple guys in the shop I have to invite but then I’m only leaving out a few. I don’t really hang out with any of my co-workers outside of work except a couple but it’s like if you invite this guy well then you have to invite this other one. It just doesn’t end!
Post # 11
I work a restaurant, which makes it hard because you pretty much get to know everyone you work with. I invited about five ladies and there husbands/SOs. Those are pretty much the five i hang out with most often outside of work. One is actually also my neighbor! I think it should be based on who you have a personal relationship with and see them outside of work as well as at work.
Post # 12
I work in an office with about 20 people or so. I invited the 7 people that a part of my department. I would have loved to invite others, but we didn’t have the room nor the money to be able to include everyone. At my office, we do birthday parties and showers for all sorts of life events, so those that want to congratulate and provide well wishes will have the opportunity then. There is no hard feelings and no one is feeling left out. Everyone understands.
Post # 13
I would only invite those you socialize with outside of work or are close to at work as PP mentioned. I will ask my coworkers who are invited not to say anything but I don’t think others would be offended.
I am mostly concerned about my boss who I am NOT inviting. A coworker invited our boss to her wedding last fall and after she RSVP’d yes, she made a lame excuse and didn’t show!!!!! And then was mad at the others (myself and other coworkers) that we didn’t reply to some email she tried to send to us (on our day off) to say she wasn’t coming. AND she didn’t give a gift!
One of my coworkers is a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I know she won’t say anything but hopefully everyone else keeps quiet too!
Post # 14
@vicozzie: I feel you there! If I invite half the office (the ones my age I socialize with) then I have to invite the rest 😛
Post # 15
I work in an office of 5 people. We’re having a small wedding, so it was all or nothing. I choase just my boss because adding another 8 people (4 workmates and a date/partner/spouse) wasn’t feasible.
Post # 16
@Stammie16:I would only invite those you socialize with outside of work or are close to at work as PP mentioned.
Agreed. We are inviting several of my FI’s co-workers as he spends a lot of time with them after work and on the weekends. They are friends. As for me I work in a very small office of seven people and so if I invited only a select few it would be very awkward. I opted to not invite any of them, especially since I don’t spend time outside of work with any of them (they are all much older than me).