Post # 1
I need some help determining if I should invite my co workers to my wedding. Although I don’t hang out with any of them outside of work, I am going to invite my boss, and my boss’s boss, who has been like a mentor to me. I enjoy them and for good politics. I plan on telling them to keep the invitation quiet. I am considering inviting my assistant, and one other girl in the group. All of them would bring spouses/significant others. I am having 200+ people, so I can’t use the "I’m limiting it to just close friends and family" excuse. I really want to invite my assistant, but have had some conflicts with the other girl in the group and I know she’ll be deeply offended if my assistant is invited and she is not. Things are currently friendly at work, and we talk about personal things, but it’s hard to know if I’ll be wondering if she is judging me the day of the wedding (she’s done it in the past). Has anyone ever experienced inviting a co-worker they wish they had not invited for fear of offending them? Perhaps I should just leave it at both bosses? Please help!
Post # 3
I am having the same problem. I am very close with a lot of ppl at work, and it is very difficult for me to decide who to invite. I am definitely inviting my boss and my boss’ boss, as well as 2 girls that i am pretty close with. We’ve hung out outside of work several times and they’ve helped me a lot with the wedding planning. I guess I just drew the line at the ppl that I feel are more like a friend vs. a coworker. I think ppl will understand if you invite both bosses but not anyone else. I hope that helps!
Post # 4
I was only going to invite 2 of my co-workers because they are the ones I would like to share the day with me and my family and close friends. Luckily for me, I’ll be quitting my job at about the same time my save the dates should be going out, so it’s a little easier for me to be able to make this distinction. I hope you figure out what to do Hon, and remember that it’s YOUR wedding and there should be NO REASON why someone who is ‘judgemental’ and really not desired to be at your wedding. Good luck!!!!
Post # 5
My primary "work mentor" (whom I asked about this issue, just in case) also advised me not to invite anyone from work. (She is at the VP level, and our company is pretty large.) She suggested that we have a "work shower" instead, which allows everyone at work who chooses to participate to feel included in the celebration, and does not require any potentially offensive picking and choosing on my part. She also pointed out (although this may be different in a smaller company) that its problematic for management to be invited to such events, because attending can be construed as favoritism. Apparently in our company they actually advise management to turn down such invitations, except in cases where it can be argued that there is a social relationship that has nothing to do with work (for instance, my boss could attend if he was friends with my FI, who works for a different company, or if I had a friendship with his wife that predated my working relationship with him).
At any rate, we had already basically decided not to invite anyone from work, as that seemed to be the only thing that wouldn’t offend anyone at work. And I don’t think your 200 person guest list means that you have to start inviting people you don’t want or like – we have 160 people on the list now, and it really is just family (almost 100) and close friends (mine, FI’s, and our parents’).
Post # 6
I was attempting to only invite 3 people from my work, but already (3months to go) people are inviting themselves, and asking if they can come. I’ve decided to put out an open invitation to the people at my work, theres only 50 or so of us, to come to the dance. This way I don’t have to worry about feeding everybody, but they’ll still be part of our big day.
Post # 7
i’m inviting my team to my wedding, not my boss – i cannot stand her and dont really care how that looks…politics is bullsh!t to me – my honesty and work ethic has gotten me this far – i doubt inviting or not inviting people i dont really care for, regardless of their bloated title or where they sit on the organization chart will make or break my career…and damn if i’m paying one dollar or one hundred dollars for her and her +1. (i work for nasdaq so i know the politics game all too well)
i’m also inviting friends i’ve made who are in different divisions of the company…but they are friends out of the office, not just work colleagues… my fh and i have spentime with them at baseball games, bbqs etc…
my rule for inviting co-workers is: if i hang out with them out of the office and dont mind picking up the tab for random dinner; if we share personal things and truly are friends, them i’m including them in one of the most symbolic days of my life… if they’re only work colleagues who happen to have pleasant convo with in passing or while we’re dealing during the workday, then no invite…