(Closed) Inviting couples as ‘guest’?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I did “and guest” unless they couple was married, engaged, living together or after all this time should be LOL. For those folks who replied back just “1” that I had addressed to the SO as well, I then sent a message too asking if they wanted to bring someone else.  In 2 cases we had friends and on and then bring their sisters 🙂

Post # 4
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

if they’ve been together for a long time, i would put his name on the invite. just tell her she can substitute someone if he can’t make it.

Post # 5
Member
759 posts
Busy bee

I had been dating my BF for about  8 months when I received an “and guest” invite and I didn’t think it was rude at all.  Plus I felt like it gave me the option to bring someone else if my BF was not able to attend with me.

Post # 6
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’ll admit that when I received “and guest” for a friend’s invitation after I was living with my boyfriend of 3+ years, I was a little irritated.  She said that she only wrote the person’s name if they were engaged.  If they’ve been together for a significant amount of time and you know the guy, I’d write his name, but just let her know that if he can’t make it, she’s welcome to bring someone else.

Post # 7
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I was going to suggest what Kitzy did – we had a few friends like that, and just addressed the couples and put a handwritten note in their invite saying, “If so-and-so can’t make it, please feel free to bring a friend instead.”

Post # 8
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

my FI’s cousin (who is getting married one month before us!) addressed our invitation to ‘FI and guest’. I was PISSED! (and apparently still am, lol).

we had been engaged longer than them, dating longer than them. . .and I am just a ‘guest’??! oohh it still makes me mad to think about it.

and it’s not like the girl didn’t know my name; we had been talking on Facebook about our weddings!!

Post # 10
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Sometimes less formal is the easiest way to handle something, and in the long run your trying to make your guests feel more welcome, so that’s what ettiquitte is for!

Post # 11
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@HisIrishPrincess: I agree. The goal is to make your friend feel comfortable, so i would try and personalize it for her by saying what @ddw: said – ‘if so and so can’t come…

Post # 12
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would put BF’s name. For two reasons. 1-if BF isn’t going to be around, do you want her just bringing a friend and raising your guest count for no reason? 2-I was with my BF for 2.5 years and I got an invitation from his sister that said +guest. I was peeved!! IMO if someone is in a long term relationship its rude not to put their name.

Post # 13
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree, if you know the guy I think you should include his name. In conversation with her you can tell her she can invite someone else if she wishes.

However, if you don’t know him really or haven’t met him I don’t think it’s a big deal to put “and guest”.

Post # 14
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@hellorebecca: That’s very rude!

We are not doing the +1, for we are keeping our numbers down and would prefer if our guests did not bring random dates. We’re finding out the names of our dating friends’ SO’s and addressing the invites that way.

Finding out somebody’s name is so easy that “and guest” is just a bit too cold for me.

Post # 15
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I was invited to my FI’s cousin’s wedding this summer as “and guest”. We had been engaged for 4 months at that point. I was a little upset about it, but didn’t care too much. We went to the wedding and had a good time. About a month later, we got a thank you card addressed to FI “and guest”- that really pissed me off. I understand it is easy to just print 2 sets of labels right away when addressing the invites, but seriously- a thank you card to FI “and guest”??

I think it is best to put the boyfriends name and then give your friend a call to let her know that she can bring another date if her boyfriend cannot make it.

Post # 16
Member
988 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Definitely put the BFs name on the invite and then when you’re next talking to her, simply tell her that she can bring another guest if you want her to.

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