(Closed) inviting coworkers

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m not inviting any co-workers. We’re having a small wedding too (hopefuly 60-65 people) and I am not close enough with any of them to warrant sending the invite.

Post # 4
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I’ve been wondering the same thing too!  I work with about 25 people and I feel like I’m friends with most of them.  I definitely didn’t order enough invitations for them all.  I’ve seen guys leave group invites out, but I don’t think anyone’s ever gone to those.  And I don’t think that’s the most tasteful way to go.  I might wait to see what the final guest count is looking like. 

Post # 5
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We had about 120 people and said no coworkers (well my husband invited a few from places where they became close, like roommates and such) but other than that no coworkers.  It gets too complicated and honestly I’d feel a bit more self conscious, even though we’re friends, it’s still work, and I don’t want work at the wedding. 

Post # 6
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We’re 50/50 on this.  I’m inviting zero co-workers, and FI is inviting several.  However, we’re in two different situations.  I like my co-workers, but we’re strictly 9-5.  I’ve never seen any of my co-workers outside of work.  We barely even talk about things besides work.

On the other hand, FI is very close friends with several co-workers.  We go out with them on weekends and such, and a couple are even in the wedding. 

I think it depends on your situation.

Post # 7
Member
2682 posts
Sugar bee

I work with alot of people, but I only invited those that I am closest with and see every day.  Out of about 30 people (give or take), I only invited 8-9 (and 2 because I had to!) that I work with directly and see every day.

Post # 8
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

As others have said, I think it really depends on your relationships with these people.  If your co-workers are people that you have a good relationship with & you can see yourself spending time with them in the outside world, go for it.  Otherwise, I’d advise not discussing the wedding too much at work (and try not to make a lot of wedding related calls with the office door open).  Also, when the wedding does come up in conversation @ the office, just stress how small/intimate you’re keeping it – mention how it’s only family and the closest friends, etc.  And if you decide not to invite them, definitely be prepared for the possibility that you may at some point be put on the spot by one of them.  Have a response formulated just in case one of them says something along the lines of “soooo, when am I getting my invitation?” 

Post # 9
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

My problem is that while I only work with about 8 people on a day to day basis, last spring I got transfered to another group for about 4 months and became really good friends with most of that group.  Plus there are 5 partners in the company and I love chatting with all the admin ladies about the wedding details.  Trouble, trouble!

Post # 11
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree with hotchild’s accessment. It’s different for everyone.

In my office we hang out outside of the office a lot and the FI has been at his job a long time and friendly with some as well. So he’s inviting ones he is friendly with.
I’m inviting my boss, all the partners and everyone I work with on a day to day basis and a couple others that I associate with outside of work.
Given though that since they will have to travel for the wedding I expect most not to show up otherwise I will be using a different inviting strategy! But if they do come, great!

Post # 12
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

How are you on your 100 person count?  For me, we just didn’t have enough room to invite work people, it added up too quickly with guests.  And yeah it woudl have had to have been an all  or none thing because otherwise hurt feelings at work aren’t good.  I think if they don’t know you’re fine.  But I wouldn’t wait too long if you end up inviting them or they’ll figure it out.

Post # 13
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

It depends on your relationship and what your budget can and can’t accommodate.  We are having about 100 folks and want to keep it to family and good friends.  I made it a point not really to boast about my wedding or discuss planning at work.  I am inviting two co-workers (one I’ve known for awhile and the other I developed a good friendship outside of work), but no one else.  He invited his current boss and his wife, for obvious reasons, but no one else (and he’s not inviting folks from his last job, with the exception of two who are friends with him outside of work).

Now if for some reason you had room and needed to fill numbers, maybe I’d consider it.  But if you invite person X and not Y, it creates problems so I say don’t invite any.  And if asked, just explain that it’s a small, intimate affair with just family – everyone will understand (and if they don’t, oh well).

 

Post # 14
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I’m only inviting 3 people from work. 2 that I’m friendly with and my boss. I’m not sure what the etiquette is on inviting your boss — I always thought that you had to. I’m pretty sure mine won’t come but you have to send the invite, ya know?

My FI’s unemployed too so that takes care of that.

Post # 15
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We’re inviting my FI’s boss because she’s awesome and we spend time with her outside of their working together, but we’re pretty much cutting it off there. If we invited all my co-workers (11, all in relationships/married, soo 22-25 total people!) and all his co-workers (4, all in relationships, so 8 people) we’d have more then a quarter of the overall number of people we are inviting (100)!! Yikes! I think it depends how close you are with people. If you have the money and spend time with them outside work, I’d say go ahead and invite them. Otherwise, no.

Post # 16
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i currently don’t have any coworkers, but when i did and got engaged, i immediately told them it was going to be a small wedding because like you, it’s all those people plus spouses. that’s more than one whole table just for work people, we just didn’t have the space. luckily i quit the job anyway so now i don’t have to worry about it. we’re only inviting my fi’s boss and his wife, plus a friend of his but they were friends before work.

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