Inviting Coworkers….

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
4638 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

People in my office ask about our wedding too. I feel no obligation to invite them despite being friendly with them during office hours.

I think its unprofessional to be in a social setting like that with a work superior. Its just not work the risk to me, I would never jeopardize peoples professional opinion of me just because they ask about my wedding.

Post # 3
4583 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I used to be a lot closer to my co-workers 6-7 years ago… so if I had gotten married then, I would have invited most of them that I worked with. However, I’m on small team of 6 and am not that close with any of them. One of the girls got married a few years ago and I was invited (but couldn’t go). I also knew her husband from work, so I got that.

We barely have enough room for the guests we did invite, so I don’t feel obligated to invite co-workers just cos of that. I will invite them to come to the dance, if they want. If they don’t come… no feelings hurt.

Post # 4
585 posts
Busy bee

I work at a large company but my actual team is a team of 12. I invited 3 of them. I wasn’t originally planning on it, but we have become friends over recent months. We have gotten together after work and go out to lunch about once a week.

I don’t think it’s unprofessional unless you let it be. That being said we work in a “business casual” work setting so we are not chastised for taking short mental breaks with coworkers so we talk often. I have asked them not to bring it up at work that they are invited and they haven’t. When other people ask about how planning is going or the details of my wedding, I tell them but I keep it short and sweet. I never mention who is or who isn’t invited.

What also helps is most of my coworkers are older. I am 25 and most of them are 30+. I only have one friend here <30, and we weren’t that close when I sent out invites, so she isn’t invited. I don’t think she thought twice about it. If it had been at my old job where EVERYONE was <30, it would have been difficult. I probably would have invited no one, just so no feelings were hurt.

Post # 5
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX

soontobemrs.h:  I really struggled with this. I just started my job in January, but I work on small team of 6 and we all work very closely together. I wanted to invite 2 of my coworkers and my boss, so I decided to invite the whole team so no one would feel left out. I don’t think any of them expected to be invited but they were all very excited and grateful. I’m still waiting on RSVPs from all of them, so who knows who from the team will actually come. I am glad I invited them though. In your situation, I would only invite the people you are close to. There’s no reason to invite 15 people if your space is limited. 

Post # 6
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Personally, I don’t want my coworkers at my wedding.  While we are all friendly Mon-Fri, the workplace is the only place I’d like to see them.

Post # 7
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

soontobemrs.h:  I gave this a lot of thought too. I ended up inviting my manager and some of my contemporaries but none of my direct reports. It would be weird since we do not spend time together outside of work.

Post # 8
1581 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I invited two coworkers who are also friends and who I’ve hung out with after work. I think that was a fair place to cut it off (though we did have a B list with 3 more of my coworkers on it, but we didn’t get enough nos to be able to invite them).

Post # 10
72 posts
Worker bee

No, you shhouldn’t feel weird about it but then again, you invite 2 people. I am sure even though the office is small they won’t come. Kind of a tough situation..

Post # 11
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’m very close with my co-workers however since I work as an administrator at a real estate office my “co-workers” consist of around 200 people lol We’re mainly having a family wedding (a few very close family friends as well) so I’ve decided not to invite any co-workers rather than invite a few and risk offending other’s who I’m just as close with but unable to invite due to space/budget considerations. 

Post # 12
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

You shouldnt feel weird about it but if you do, I think you shouldnt invite anyone. I am close with my bosses/coworkers so I invited 10 of them plus their significant other (if they had one). The total filled 2 eight person tables. I think though, only inviting your supervisors is totally ok!

Post # 13
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

i’m having the same issue/debate with myself.  There are 10 people in my department, only thee I am actually friends with.  We don’t do anything with each other outside of work except maybe once a year but I see them 40 hours a week.  I know that they are going to be hurt to not be invited.  I am newly engaged, just booked the venue actually, and they ask about wedding stuff all the time. ALL THE TIME.  I don’t want to talk about it, because I don’t want to be rude. I just keep saying ‘small and intimate’.  🙁

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