Post # 1
Background: I currently work at a school and have been here for two years. In that time, I haven’t made many close friends. I will also be leaving this position as I am moving to a different state after I get married.
I’m wondering if I should invite any of my coworkers to my wedding. There is a group of 4 girls in my department that I eat lunch with every day. I was thinking of inviting them and their spouses. But there is a 5th girl that sometimes eats with us and I feel bad leaving her out. And then I think I should invite my mentor teacher and then I think I should invite my department principal.
It quickly gets complicated. This wouldn’t be a huge issue except we’re working with limited space for our reception; otherwise I’d just invite them. I’m not really close enough to these ladies to usually want to do anything with them outside of school, but I do enjoy their company. I also don’t want to invite just the four of them if it will really hurt some feelings.
What do you bees think?
Post # 3
We decided to only invite coworkers that we see and do things with outside of work.
Post # 4
I am inviting the ones I work with directly (about 6 plus their significant others), that have been along for the whole ride. I would hang out with them outside of work (and have with a couple). That’s it though. I don’t think feelings will be hurt if you aren’t especially close with them…people don’t wait around for invites to all their coworkers weddings.
Post # 5
@Luvnseptember: +1. if you aren’t close to them outside of work, don’t invite them, and keep it simple to avoid having anyone feel slighted.
Post # 6
@whitarens: would post a general notice a few days before your wedding. Noone is likely to come yet noone will feel left out. I think in your particular situation you can do what you wish. It is unlikely that will be any ramifications for you as you are leaving that school district. If you invite the 4 and not the 5th it will be hurtful.
For bee’s that are remaining at their jobs, to single out certain coworkers to invite will inevitably cause issues on some level with those coworkers who thought they were valued more than they are and then don’t get an invite. A hierachy of importance becomes transparent when one coworker gets an invite and one does not….most people would get over it, but it’s doubtful it would be forgotten…
Post # 7
@whitarens: I am inviting coworkers who I work closely with and a couple that I am friends with even though we don’t work in the same department. I’m also inviting my direct boss (I probably see him more than I do my fiance, lol). People understand that you can’t invite everyone and I wouldn’t worry about it too much, but I would suggest keeping it to the people that you are closest to personally.
Post # 8
i’m not inviting any of my co-workers. 3 of them i eat lunch with almost every day and have been here for 4 years. when one of the boys got engaged last year, i went out to happy hour with them. his now wife asked me if i would travel to puerto rico for the wedding, i said sure. then i wasn’t invited.
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I wouldn’t. You don’t hang out with them besides at school, and you’re about to leave that job. You’ll probably never see them again.
I’m inviting all ~15 of my coworkers/bosses and their SOs, but we’re a really close-knot office and I travel with colleagues a ton. Also, the wedding is 3.5 hrs from where we live, so that will cut down on the ones who we aren’t as close with.
Post # 10
Our guest list is so tight at this point that I had to pull all of my co-workers – I had about 8 co-workers on the list. I would still like to invite 2 but at this point I’ve decided it needs to be all of the 8 or no one. I’ve worked at my current job for 8 years and have made friendships but with our venue being so small we have to stick with close family and friends.
Post # 11
Thanks guys! I guess the fact that I wouldn’t/haven’t hung out with them outside of school says it all.
@ajillity81:That makes me feel a little better. Also, that was pretty rude of her. I’ve been pretty careful not to make anyone feel like they were invited until I made up my mind.
@BatCrazyBride: We’re pushed for space in our venue too. We don’t have room for a dance floor, but even leaving that out, we’re struggling to fit everyone. Leaving them off would eliminate an entire table, so that would be helpful.
@gemgirl6: I thought about posting a notice, but with school ending almost two months before my wedding, it’s tricky.
Post # 12
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@whitarens: Unless you regularly hang out with these people outside of work they are work acquaintances and I don’t see why they need an invitation, especially if you are short on space.
Post # 13
@beachbride1216: That’s what I was leaning toward, but I felt guilty (I know that’s silly) not inviting them.
Post # 14
@gemgirl6: For bee’s that are remaining at their jobs, to single out certain coworkers to invite will inevitably cause issues on some level with those coworkers who thought they were valued more than they are and then don’t get an invite. A hierachy of importance becomes transparent when one coworker gets an invite and one does not….most people would get over it, but it’s doubtful it would be forgotten…
I think this falls under the category of “brides think that their wedding is something everyone is dying to attend”. 99% of people wouldn’t care if they didn’t already have a close relationship with her.
Post # 15
Wait, a general notice a couple weeks before as in: “Hey guys my wedding is XXX XX, 2013, feel free to join us”? If so, that seems worse than not inviting some coworkers…
Post # 16
If you are not close to them; don’t invite them.
I am inviting 4 girls from work (in an office of 20). We talk all the time, and do things outside of work. I am close to these girls and would hate to not see them at my wedding.