- 2 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
My fiance’s family is huge, and trying to fit everyone into the guest list within our budget constraints has been very hard! Who else has been dealing with family v.s. the budget?
We thought we had everything figured out guest wise until I realized something…..There is one person in his family that I hate, I despise this person.
Background: I grew up with my fiance’s nieces and nephews and never even knew it! How weird is that? I went to school with one of his nephews, (for this case I’ll name him Derp) Derp from second grade until Freshman year when I finally withdrew from the school because I was being horriably bullied. From second grade until Freshman year my fiance’s nephew was one of my main tormentors, he loved making fun of me in gym calling me “fat”, made moo-ing sounds if I ran. I have very large breasts and I was developing faster then my other girl classmates so if they moved at all during gym he would yell out, “don’t black your eyes!” or “Oh no! Her titties are going to hit someone, run!” Then a nasty rumor spread about me being a lesbian which was not true and he said even more hurtful things like, “You’re going to hell” , “Lesbo”, “Dyke.” We always had the same lunch period and when I sat down to eat he’d yell hurtful things like, “Why are you eating? You’re too fat!” or “Oh my God! She’s going to break the table!” It got so bad at lunch I stopped eating at the cafeteria and found some stairwells to hide at where no one could watch me eat. He’d even get his friends together and pick on me mercilessly.
Since my high school years I have gone to therapy for my PTSD, anxiety, stress, and truama from all of my years of horrid bullying, and though I have come far forgiving has been the hardest part of all. I see Derp at family gatherings with my fiance’ and we’ve always stayed away from each other, we don’t talk to each other and that is the way I like it.
My current dilemma with Derp is my wedding. I love Derp’s family, everyone else is so nice to me and my fiance’, and I want to address the invitation “Derp Family.” I want to invite the mother, father, their adult daughters Derpina and Herpina, their sons Derply, Derpnan, and their adult son Derpmus and his boyfriend Derpla, but I do not want to have Derp’s family think that Derp is invited. So how do I address the invitation? Should I send one invite to the mother and father with their two youngest son’s name on it, a second invite to the two adult daughters, and a third invite to the adult son and his boyfriend?
One of the daughters still lives at home with the mom and dad, one daughter lives in California, their youngest sons live at home, and their other son lives in California too.
So what I am ultimately asking is when everyone gets their invitations and they notice that Derp is not invited or if they try to invite him what should I say? They don’t know that Derp picked on me during school, and plus he would deny it if they asked and worst yet they would believe him since he is practicing on becoming a pastor! What do I do in this situation? How do I word the invites?
Side note: I have not sent out the invitations yet, and no one knows who is invited and who isn’t yet.
Before you post: Please don’t ask me if I can find it in my heart to forgive this guy, I’ll do that on my own time and I am not ready yet, I do not want this person at my wedding where I know by just seeing this guy I’ll get an anxiety attack. I don’t want that on my wedding day, I want to be happy….not stressed about it because one of my childhood bullies is at my wedding!