Post # 1
My entire mom’s side of the family lives in Florida; we are in NY. One of my Florida aunts is coming to my bridal shower, so I thought to send all of them invites, including cousins who I haven’t spoken too in some time. They are all coming to my wedding and I am quite sure they will not make the trip twice just for the bridal shower. My mom was on the fence about whether I should even invite them to the bridal shower. She said it might look like I was just trying to get a gift, since I know they won’t come. But if one is coming, I don’t want people to question why they weren’t invited. I really would just invite them for that reason, not for a gift. What do you think?
Post # 3
I think you should send everyone who is technically ‘invited’ an invitation.
Post # 4
I did invite people who were ou of state who are an important part of mine of FI’s life, I didn’t want them to feel as though I was leaving them out. Some are coming and others have declined. I think you should send an invite to aunt’s and first cousins and let them make that decision.
Post # 5
I think you should invite them! I think it looks more rude NOT to invite them than to invite them. They don’t HAVE to send you a gift if they don’t come to your shower, and I think they would appreciate knowing they are invited and could come if they want to. It would seem weird if you only sent an invitation to that one aunt you know that’s coming and neglected everyone else, I think.
Post # 6
I agree with the other ladies. You should invite them so that they do not feel left out. You never know, they may be able to come twice.
Post # 7
My Mom invited any woman who was invited to the wedding to the shower and this included out of town guests. Many of them appreciated the invite because we were including them in the festivities even though they couldn’t make it. I think it is a nice thing to do.
Post # 8
The decision to attend should be left up to those who are invited, not the person throwing the party. If you want them there, then I’d invite them.
Post # 9
Great. Thank you!! That’s what I thought! Better to get an invite than NOT to get an invite…they are my “immediate” extended family after all. Actually it is funny because I just received an invitation to the bridal shower of my FI’s co-worker; who I’ve talked to like once! She’s apparently inviting every female who is invited to her wedding, whereas I am questioning inviting family. Silly.
Post # 10
I would think they’d appreciate the invite. I personally don’t see it as fishing for gifts. If you didn’t send, you run the risk of them feeling excluded.
Post # 11
@Ngolden1: thanks for posting this! I was on the fence about inviting family who are out of state as well. Now I have a question, do answers of PPs above also apply to close friends who are out of town/state? Or does it apply to only family?
Post # 12
i’m in the same boat with all of the females in FI’s family, even though they’re only 2 hours away… (they’re older and don’t like to drive out of their town)…
i will be sending them an invite to show the gesture, but most of them won’t make it.
Post # 13
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I would definitely still invite them – even though they can’t come, it’d be nice for them to know they’re invited!
Post # 14
My mother did not invite out of town relatives, and I did not invite out of town guests. We invited my FI’s parents who are out of state, and we invited one bridesmaid who was out of state, and one cousin.. but all the others were not invited..
For all of my family who weren’t invited, we did call them and say that we didn’t want it to appear that we were just looking for a gift, and we wished that they could be there! Also, traditionally, the man’s side will have their own shower, but because my FIs family is not close, no shower there.
And yet we still received gifts from family that weren’t invited… family can be great, can’t they?
Didn’t invite people from work, because we were already at 30 people… and haven’t heard a peep about them doing anything for me either.. oh well, maybe they just don’t know that they should?
Post # 15
1) I plan to defer to my mom on all issues like this
2) I believe we are planning to invite all female relatives regardless of location.
Post # 16
@ Ella1978 – On the co-worker point, I’m not inviting them either. Mostly because I don’t think I can invite them to the wedding due to space constraints, which I’m feeling incredibly awkward and bad about. I didn’t know they were supposed to throw a work bridal shower? Although I know it does sometimes happen.