(Closed) Inviting family to bridal shower you know can’t come?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think you should send everyone who is technically ‘invited’ an invitation.

Post # 4
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I did invite people who were ou of state who are an important part of mine of FI’s life, I didn’t want them to feel as though I was leaving them out. Some are coming and others have declined. I think you should send an invite to aunt’s and first cousins and let them make that decision.

Post # 5
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think you should invite them!  I think it looks more rude NOT to invite them than to invite them.  They don’t HAVE to send you a gift if they don’t come to your shower, and I think they would appreciate knowing they are invited and could come if they want to. It would seem weird if you only sent an invitation to that one aunt you know that’s coming and neglected everyone else, I think.

Post # 6
Member
5389 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I agree with the other ladies. You should invite them so that they do not feel left out. You never know, they may be able to come twice.

Post # 7
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My Mom invited any woman who was invited to the wedding to the shower and this included out of town guests.  Many of them appreciated the invite because we were including them in the festivities even though they couldn’t make it. I think it is a nice thing to do.

Post # 8
Member
1757 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

The decision to attend should be left up to those who are invited, not the person throwing the party. If you want them there, then I’d invite them.

Post # 10
Hostess
16217 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I would think they’d appreciate the invite. I personally don’t see it as fishing for gifts. If you didn’t send, you run the risk of them feeling excluded.

Post # 11
Member
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Ngolden1: thanks for posting this!  I was on the fence about inviting family who are out of state as well.  Now I have a question, do answers of PPs above also apply to close friends who are out of town/state? Or does it apply to only family?

Post # 12
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i’m in the same boat with all of the females in FI’s family, even though they’re only 2 hours away… (they’re older and don’t like to drive out of their town)…

i will be sending them an invite to show the gesture, but most of them won’t make it.

Post # 13
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I would definitely still invite them – even though they can’t come, it’d be nice for them to know they’re invited!

Post # 14
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My mother did not invite out of town relatives, and I did not invite out of town guests.  We invited my FI’s parents who are out of state, and we invited one bridesmaid who was out of state, and one cousin.. but all the others were not invited..

For all of my family who weren’t invited, we did call them and say that we didn’t want it to appear that we were just looking for a gift, and we wished that they could be there!  Also, traditionally, the man’s side will have their own shower, but because my FIs family is not close, no shower there.

And yet we still received gifts from family that weren’t invited… family can be great, can’t they?

Didn’t invite people from work, because we were already at 30 people… and haven’t heard a peep about them doing anything for me either.. oh well, maybe they just don’t know that they should?

Post # 15
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

1) I plan to defer to my mom on all issues like this 

2) I believe we are planning to invite all female relatives regardless of location. 

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