Inviting FMIL to bridal shower.

posted 3 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Should I invite my FMIL?
    Yes : (49 votes)
    89 %
    No : (6 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    563 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @rand04:  WOW I am in the same situation! FMIL and I aren’t getting along swimmingly right now (wedding-related disagreements) and she has said some VERY awful things about me via email and text message on several occasions. We are inviting her and FI’s family to the shower that my mom is hosting, as FMIL will not be hosting a shower for us nor could she handle the stress of throwing a shower for us ha! We are only inviting 40 guests to our shower. FSIL is constantly fighting with my FILs, too! But she is in college so it’s understandable. Just make sure your FI is standing up for you and he agrees to continue doing so.

    Post # 4
    6980 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would still invite her. Don’t give her any more ammunition against you.

    Post # 5
    1470 posts
    Bumble bee

    Would your FI be offended if you didn’t invite his mom? Because it would be such an affront to traditionalism and has implications to your unit as a couple, for me, he would need to be included in the decision.

    She sounds like a terror! Sorry you’re going through it with her like this. For me, I would probably invite her and ignore her the whole time…not include her on any planning, no special attention or recognition, treat her like a regular guest. If you truly think she’ll never ever come around (once you’re married, once you have children, etc) and there’s just no hope for any kind of civility or a relationship, then don’t invite her if she’s going to make you uncomfortable. But just be prepared that not inviting her would be something that you’ve done that, in her mind, would justify the way she treats you and she’ll never forget it.

    Random question-what does your own mom say about it?


    Post # 6
    369 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We are in a similar situation. My FFIL passed away back in Dec and my FMIL has a new bf that has turned her against her whole family – including my FI & his brother. We haven’t really spoke to her in a few months & I want nothing to do with her and her drama. She was on my list to invite but got taken off after calling my FI and his brother names that no mother should ever call her children. As well as allowing her new scumbag bf to call them names as well.
    I want my shower to be amazing & fun, and that will only happen without her. Sorry, not sorry! 🙂

    Post # 7
    1590 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I was going to vote yes after reading only the first paragraph but ooofff!! As someone who is 5’2 and 140, I would NOT be happy with that woman. It will probably get so much worse if you don’t invite her though. I’m not voting! sorry!!

    Post # 9
    920 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2018


    Here’s the thing personally I wouldn’t invite her.  I would tell her to her face that she can f herself and I want to never see her again.  Now when doing this it’s best to have your fiance on your side so he would have to be willing to disown his mom.  I’m not at all saying he should be pressured into disowning her.

    If your not willing to cut her out of your life than invite her.  Not inviting her but still putting up with her will just make things worse.

    Post # 11
    51 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Westwood:  +1.  I hate that you have to deal with this, but I feel like not inviting her would not go over well.  I’m sorry. 🙁

    Post # 12
    2962 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I didnt invite my husband’s mom to my bridal shower. The bridal shower is a party for the bride and she doesn’t like me so why would she even want to go? So she could show her face to a crowd full of ppl who are for me and VERY anti-her? It wouldnt have went over well if she came. But I told DH that I wasnt inviting her 2 months before the shower.

    Post # 13
    1148 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I neither get along nor not get along with my MIL. We don’t see her often, so I really have never gotten a chance to know her and vice versa.

    She was invited to my bridal shower, but my husband’s grandmother was the ONLY family member from his side that showed up. MIL had worked the grave shift and my shower was at 10 in the morning, so she opted to go home and sleep. It was more embarrassing for me at the time because the shower was set up to where I’d sit at the head table between my mom and MIL, and I ended up having a friend sit by me instead.

    But I’d invite your MIL, just to be courteous, and as others said, so she doesn’t have another thing to hold over your head.

    Post # 14
    1996 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Sounds like a horrible situation but I would still invite her as a courtesy but that’s just how I was raised. Fingers crossed she doesn’t show!

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