(Closed) Inviting future Brother in Law's In Laws

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

First of all, I’d let your husband deal with it since it’s his mom with the issue – she’ll get over it faster coming from him, whereas with you there is the risk of being seen as the evil daughter in law who’s trying to shut out her and her opinion. I would simply have your FI tell her that if you invite one set of in-laws you have to invite them all, and that the two of you have a budget and a number of guests you don’t want to go over, and he is not willing to cut friends and family that the two of you are actually close to so that your siblings in-laws who you never see and don’t really have a relationship with can attend.

If she brings it up again, a simple, “We’ve discussed this already, and we haven’t changed our minds. I’m sorry but our siblings in-laws are not on the guest list.” No more reasons or explanations since she’ll just use them to argue about it further – a short response just saying no when she keeps going is better.

Post # 4
Member
1164 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@CardsBride13:  so funny you should mention this!!! My FMIL said the same thing about my fiancé’s sister’s boyfriend’s parents and sister. I mean maybe one day they will turn into my FSIL’s inlaws but in the meantime they’re not! I have no problem inviting my FSIL boyfriend (if they’re still together), but seeing as how I met these people 1 time for about 3 minutes, it was a big no!

The best part was that for all 7 years I’ve been with my fiancé, she’s always said “my FIL made us invite so many ppl he knew, and he promised to pay and he didn’t, and we were so strapped for money. We’d never do that to you guys”…..so to hear the guestlist she created 3 days after our engagement got my back up just a bit…

I think it’s a “old-school” thing (couldn’t think of a better term–hope no one is offended by this).  My FMIL said that when she was getting married (almost 30 years ago), she invited her FSIL’s inlaws. However, times are different

Post # 5
Member
5548 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

This is interesting to me, I DID invite my sister’s in laws, they couldn’t.come but I think they are great and sometimes secretly wish I could have DH with my sister’s in laws. But my family and.sis’ in laws are close so it made sense. I think if you weren’t close it would be weird. But my family was always included most of the various in laws (my mom’s siblings in laws mostly) so it was normal to me. 

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