Inviting guest without a "plus one"

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee

Yes, this is totally rude, but the rudeness started up in the first sentence when some ill-advised wedding-etiquette website gave you the bad advice to use “and Guest” in the first place. Here is what real etiquette says:

Every guest — every single person present at your wedding celebration other than co-hosts and vendors — should be invited by name with an invitation sent to his or her own address. You should not set people up to be “second-class” guests.

I do understand, that you want all your guests to be happy and comfortable at your wedding, and that having their closest friend escort them is one way you can make guests happy. But it is your responsibility: you do not foist those responsibilities onto your friends and tell them to take care of it themselves. You figure out who each guest belongs with, you come up with comfortable seating charts that put agreeable people next to one another, you do the inviting. These are all supposed to be your friends and family: you should know the most important relationships in their lives. You will naturally know, and invite both parties to any marriage, engagement, or equivalent-to-married household. If there does happen to be a friend whose affections are engaged by someone you don’t know, you call your friend and ask them if there is anyone they would like you to invite — getting their name and address.

The result of this is, that your recently-broken-up couple get treated exactly like everyone else. They get an invitation for themselves, period. And they sit where you plan to seat them — which may or may not be near some single person with whom they eventually form a relationship. And since all those people are your, and your husband’s guests, NO-ONE would dream of violating your hospitality by picking fights with any of them.

Post # 4
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

@Tina1201:  If you are inviting all the single people “with guest” then you have to be fair to everyone and give everyone a plus one. If you are only giving a plus one to people in relationships, then no, you don’t need to give them a plus one.

 

Post # 5
Member
906 posts
Busy bee

I personally think that no single guest should get a plus one. Unless they are traveling from a distance ie over seas or a 1000 miles or over then I think it would be fine but other then that I think plus ones should only be extended to married, engage, or live in partners as well as friends with sigficant others. If a friend of yours is in a serious relationship and aren’t living together or engage or married then you shouldn’t have to include their so if your not friends with them. 

Post # 6
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Treat them like everone else, you are asking for trouble otherwise.  Trust them to make good choices.

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