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I would invite her and not him; I think he'll understand if they end up getting back together. If they were divorced, you would do the same unless he was also a good friend of yours (and even then you might not). If you do invite him, I wouldn't seat them together.
Two cents in :)
I agree - see how your friend feels about it. I think that since you were obviously her friend first, her ex would understand not being invited even though he got the STD. I can't see her wanting him there, though.
If she is a member of your bridal party, don't invite the ex-fiance. I can't imagine anthing worse than having to go to a wedding knowing mine was recently called off and seeing my ex-fiance there. Drama could ensue coupled with the libations during the night. On top of that, she is probably going to be pretty depressed (although I'm sure she will not show it) because of what happened and seeing her ex-fiance could only make it that much worse.
I agree talk to her and see what she thinks. The last thing you want is to hurt her more by inviting someone who may or may not matter to you.
I agree with the bees here, don't invite him. You originally were inviting him because he was a date to your friend; now he's not. The only way I'd consider it is if she really wants you to for some reason, although if they called off a wedding I can imagine she'd just as soon not see him there.
I would ask her, but no; you're not obligated to invite her ex-fiance (it was not a faux pas to put both of their names on the invite if you were inviting them as a couple). It seems like he was being invited as her guest, not on his own otherwise, so you don't need to send him an invitation also unless (1) your closer friend is comfortable, and/or (2) you wanted to invite him anyway.
I wouldn't invite him as it sounds like he was her guest, really. I had a similar problem recently when one of our GMs broke up with his girlfriend. Her name was on the invitation and I also invited her to my hen's so she would be able to meet some other people, but she rang the other night to say she wouldn't come to the wedding. To be honest I was very surprised - it hadn't occurred to me she would still consider herself an invited guest! She still wants to come to the hen's though, which of course I'm happy with. Check with your BM but I'm sure she'll agree he doesn't need to be invited :)
are you friends with him outside of your friendship with her?
If you were friends before they started dating, or are still really good friends with him now that they're not together, I would say invite him, but let her know ahead of time.
If you're just worried about breaching etiquette concerning his name on the STD, don't worry abou it -- it's probably the last thing on his mind, if he's even aware of the etiquette rule there.
do you have the budget to invite her plus one? that way if they get back together, he could be her plus one. if they don't, she could bring someone else, or nobody.
Thanks for the advice ladies! I e-mailed her and asked her what she wanted me to do. She said to either leave him on the invite or say "and guest" because she is staying positive. I think I'll do "and guest" just to be safe--that way she can bring him or a friend if she wants. I don't think he'll mind. He understands I was friends with her before they met and we're friends with him through her.
Thanks again! Who knew invitations could be a sticky situation!
Talk to your friend and see what she says.
I'm guessing she wouldn't want him invited to the wedding unless they get back together.
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I'm working on the invitations for our wedding, and I've come across a dilemma. When i sent out the save the dates, one of my friends/a member of my house party was engaged, living with her BF and I was a bridesmaid for her wedding next year. Since I sent the save the date with both of their names addressed(probably a faux pas... oops), about a month ago they have called off the wedding, broken up and he's moved out. So the dilemma-- do I invite them both to our january wedding?
I am thinking if so, it'd have to be separately. I was friends with her first and foremost and my fiance is friends with them bc of me. So I don't want her to be uncomfortable with him there and I am fine with it if he doesn't come, so maybe I shouldn't send him an invitation.
However... they might get back together sometime in the future--it's definitely a possibility on both sides. If so... I would have excluded him... and I was supposed to be in their wedding.
Thoughts?