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Unless it was my very best friends or family member- no I wouldn't go. I'd send a nice card though! I think ppl think we need to make a huge deal out of kids birthdays, when I was growing up we'd have mainly close family party and once every few years or so we'd get the larger party. It made the years with a big party more memorable and super special. I'll do that for our soon to be baby. :)
@oracle: I don't have any children, but most of my friends do. I usually don't attend birthday parties unless I'm really close to that person. I would be much more inclined to go to the party of my best friend's child as opposed to the girl I was friends with in high school but haven't spoken to in 5 months.
Most parents understand that people without children don't really want to spend a Saturday morning with a large group of toddlers.
Good question. I think it depends on what kinda party the parents want. If they want it to be strictly about their child, then I'd think they should only invite the people closest to them. I've been invited to TON of children's parties, and I haven't had my baby yet. But it was evident to us that it was really more of a family party as opposed to a kid's birthday party. An excuse to have friends and family get together. However, if I was invited to a 9am party... I would probably opt out and send a gift!
I know it's not what you were asking about, but I just decline these types of invitations unless its for family. My closest friends who have kids knew that I don't care much for kids before they had them, so they don't invite me to join them for kid-centric activities. I have a couple of friends that lost all interest in ever doing anything that didn't involve their kids in a very direct way, and so it was natural that we drifted apart.
@oracle: Lol, we skipped out on having a party for Addie (and we probably will next year, too), so I'm not much help.
However, we've been attending a lot of 1st birthday parties for Addie's friends, and the majority of people there have kids or are family members. At one party, a single, childless friend of the father's showed up, and my husband and I both commented how weird it was. We're both convinced there was something going on behind the scenes...
If you're not super close, I think it's fine to decline the invite. They will be so busy, they won't even miss you.
I would say things like the 1st birthday party is pretty important and often is more centered around adults than kids!
We try to make an effort to go to family birthdays (nieces/nephews/etc).
I'll be a mom in 8wks, so I'll chime in. I wouln't go. I didn't before I was pregnant. I just don't see why I'd need to be there. For my baby's 1st birthday, it'll be something small with just family and a little cake for her/him to eat. I'm not big on birthday parties, especially every year. It's annoying at some point.LOL A small one for immediate family, aunts/uncles, grandparents, but not everyone you know.
Generally the only kid-less adutls we've invited were family. We do have a handful of friends that we're close with from church that just love the Munchkin so if they were invited they may come.. idk though. lol
I have a couple of close friends who have kids, and those are the only kid parties I go to besides family. Most friends don't even bother to invite us, and why would they? Hubs doesn't even come unless its family. Its just weird, as we have no kids and certainly don't want to hang out with a bunch of them at one time!
I'd say it depends on how close you are to the friends and the kids. We've invited our friends to our kids' birthday parties and if they come, awesome, if not, no big deal. Usually, if they don't get to come that day, they come later with the presents for the kids.
HOWEVER, these are also my FI's best friends from childhood who I'm also close friends with now. They're "uncles" to our kids and one, now, is in a serious relationship with someone (one of my bridesmaids) who has two daughters.
So, I'd say it depends on the people involved.
I don't think you need to be in a relationship or be a parent to care about and love someone else's child. Nor do you need to be family. I have friends who are closer to my child than some of my more extended family members are. Heck, my one friend has spent more time with my child than my own mother has! Especially when they are babies and toddlers, it's all about celebrating life. Just make sure the party you are throwing is appropriate for the guests you are inviting.
I would go to the 1st birthday party, the ones I've been to are more about the adults. Anything after that is usually just for the kids with kids activities, etc. I have gone but I've felt terribly out of place and occasionally like on on-hand babysitter (because I don't have a kid of my own to watch, I somehow was expected to watch and help with everyone else's). But I always send a gift and for the kids I'm close with, I take them out for ice cream, bowling or something special for their birthday.
My daughter isn't here yet, but I could totally see us inviting our friends that don't have kids to her birthday parties. We're so close to them, they're the baby's "unofficial aunts and uncles" anyway. Plus, you'll have the kids doing the bounce house or eating cake or whatever, and the adults mostly just hang out and talk with each other and stuff. That's how it's been at my niece and nephew's birthday parties.
This is a hot issue among our friends!! So funny to see a post about it! It's a long story so I wno't bother getting into it but as someone who has been excluded from tons of parties simply because of being childless, I think if you're good friends, you invite them whether they also have kids or not. It's up to them to decline the invite. Growing up I always had a "kids party" and an "adults party" so that is what I plan to do.
I only invite my closest friends to my son's party that don't have kids. They always show up however they know my kid and often spend time with us as a family and have grown to love him like an nephew. If they aren't super close to me and my son than I do not invite them.
I went to the ones that I could. Most of my friends had kids when I went off to college so I couldn't always make it. I would always send a card. It does mean alot to the parents that you seem excited, and I get invitations addressed to me. lol Now that I am pregnant, they will address all invites to our future child.
As a parent I wouldn't expect kidless friends to attend my kids' parties. The activities, foods, games etc. are all geared towards the kids. What sane adult would want to attend that unless they had children of their own?
I've been to a few 1 and 2 year old parties, and they've always been geared to adults. The kids don't have a ton of friends yet.
I expect I'll be doing the same thing, and I'd like it if my kidless friend's came. I wouldn't be mad at them if they couldn't, but I think it would be nice to have them there to support me and my child. As my baby grows up, I feel like the parties will start to be more about the kids and less about the adults, and then I woulnd't invite any adults but family and of course parents of the children invited.
Sometimes parents use the kid's birthday as a chance to throw a party - so some will have entertainment for the kids but also have drinks and food for adults - I think it depends on the party if it's clowns and balloon animals only then I don't see why kid-less adults would be invited (or want to go).
I would only go to a family or close friend's kid's party. I don't even like children that much. So there's no way I'm showing up to a kids party when it has nothing to do with me, being an adult. But that's just me :)
Wow, this thread surprises me. I just attended a first birthday party for our close friends' kid. There were quite a few childless couples there that attended, us included. I can count 4 offhand. We didn't feel out of place or weird. In fact, it was a lot of fun. I can see close friends in the future attending a baby shower and later a birthday party. I'd still want them there throughout those steps in our life regardless of with kids or not.
Of those without kids, I would only invite my very best friends to my son's first bday party. that said, before I had a kid, I would always go to parties of my closest friends' kids because they are important to me! Obviously this is for very young kids, not an older child's party where it is really about the kid and not the parents :) to me, its not really any different from going to a wedding shower, which I frankly find much more boring than a kid's bday partiy:) and I was never a kid person!!
I am not really sure why having a kid or not should make me any less willing to be there for important times in my friends' lives....and first/second bday parties are usually more about the family/parents than the kid!
We recently attended a 4th birthday party as the only childless couple. It was a small party and started in the afternoon so it was perfect for adults although it was actually child focused, there were only 4 kids and their parents. However, I'm really glad we went because the birthday child was happy to see us and remembered us even though we don't see her very often. Also, it's fun to give kids presents and watch them get excited for new toys. Sometimes the conversation was unrelatable but it went with the situation. I would go to birthdays for young children but may think about showing up late to a 9am Sat. affair.
What's with these parties starting at 9 AM? Who wants their kid eating cake at like 10 am? I'm confused.
My husband and I have been to several 1 year old birthday parties, mostly for family but a handful for friends. The last one we went to, there were only three kids there, and it was mostly adults. There was wine, beer and a taco bar for the adults, and we all had a great time visiting and watching the birthday girl open gifts and eat her cake. Most of these parties have been all about watching the millions of kiddos run around and play in a park or at a community center, so we always wait until after cake and then we make a polite exit.
That being said, if it wasn't a close friend, I would decline and either send a nice card or drop by later with a gift.
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I really do appreciate getting an invite to my friend's kids b'day parties. But, quite frankly, it's only my very best friend's whose kid's party I want to go to.
For whatever reason, I've been invited to quite a few morning parties lately. The latest one is a 9am, Saturday party for a 2 year old. I like the family, heck - I like the kid. But going to a 9am b'day party on a Saturday just doesn't sound like fun.
Last month, I went to a closer friend's daughter 1-year old party (also 9am on a Saturday!) and while the event was a bit painful (soooo many kids! and at a park) it really meant a lot to her that I was there to share that important event in her life.
Anyway - my point in asking this question is: as a parent, does it mean a lot to you to have your kid-less friends show up to your kids party? I mean, the kid doesn't care - I'd be showing up for the parents, not the kid. Or, do you understand that kid-less friends may not really want to go to a 2-year old party? Or, does it matter, based on how close you are to that friend?
Thoughts??