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i think my fiance and i only know three little kids, so there wouldn't be many for us to invite. we haven't really discussed if we will invite them or not. i'm split on the decision, but i lean slightly more toward no because, like you said, i don't want to worry about them running around. at the same time, i think i will be doing so much other stuff on the day of that i won't even think about it.
We're providing very little food, so the only additional cost with kids is the extra cake. Since our lady is doing the cake at a VERY reasonable price, that's not an issue. So we're inviting 20-40 kids, believe it or not. Our families just have a zillion. And for us, it wouldn't be terribly fair to not invite the kids, since a lot of the families are coming from another city, and since most of our family (read- free babysitters) will be at the wedding, it'd be costly for them to find someone else to watch the kids. But mostly we just don't mind. We're doing half cake, half cupcakes, and there are some basketball goals outside the reception location, so hopefully they'll have fun too!
We did not invite children to our wedding. It was a mix of a money factor and a "keep my sanity" factor. I know most people think it is cute, but I just don't like it when a bunch of kids take over the dance floor and run around. I find it very stressfull and that was the last thing I wanted on my wedding day.
We dealt with a lot of crap for this, from both sides of the family (but not from any of our friends). In the long run it was WORTH dealing with the crap. It is amazing how rude and presumptious family can be, and I think I got to see a side of some people that they usually keep hidden.
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Because our wedding is starting so late and is already over 200 people, we decided that the only children we would invite are our cousins that are atleast 10 years old. My aunt just had a baby and has a 2 year old, so we're in the process of helping her and any other people coming with kids find or we'll provide some babysitting and general kid fun back at the hotel.
Having kids or not at my wedding does not matter much to me. But my mother feels very strongly that children should not be invited to weddings. I am having a flower girl, who will be 7, so she will be invited, but that's it.
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We are not inviting anyone younger than 16. I felt the same way as you, caliocteach. Our decision was a combination of money/size and approriateness. We're having an evening wedding in a smaller venue, and I knew that kids wouldn't be comfortable there. I'm an early childhood teacher, so it's certainly not that I don't love kids, but I just knew what I wanted for the wedding day. I've gotten some negative reactions from people, but I'm so glad that we've stuck to what we wanted and not gotten pressured into changing our minds.
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It's not so much that I was pressured , as my family started reproducing! I think there will be 7 little ones all under 5 at our wedding. I was hoping for an adult only event , but it would not be fair to the family to exclude the sprouts!
Jessie516 - I'm glad to hear that! Earlier I got a lot of flack on one of these boards for not inviting kids and I was accused of not liking kids. My husband and I are both teachers and we have dedicated our lives to children. We did have a few 16 year olds at our wedding, but they were family that my husband and I are both close to. We also had two former students of mine (both 18) perform during the ceremony.
We don't have many kids in our immediate family, but all are invited. We're having an afternoon wedding with a game theme-so how could we not invite them?
Erindesmar, my FI's parents are like your mom -- they feel very strongly that weddings are not appropriate places for children. They adore kids, they're "honorary grandparents" to half their neighborhood, but they feel that weddings are formal occasions and that both kids and parents will have a lot more fun if the little ones are home with a babysitter and some pizza.
I honestly didn't have a strong opinion either way (there were only a handful of under-12s we might have invited), but we decided not to invite kids under 12 for two reasons. First, my future in-laws prefer it, and I had to admit they had a point about a late-night reception at a historic mansion not being very kid friendly. Second, two of the kids who might have been on the guest list are a complete nightmare -- they throw tantrums and destroy things when they don't get what they want immediately -- and I didn't think I could get away with excluding those two and still inviting the well-behaved kids. :-P
We have lots of kids on the guest list. There are several in our families and many more children of guests; we are close to all of them, so I can't imagine them not being included. While I don't mind them attending, I do dislike when a child is crying/talking loudly and being disruptive and the parents/guardian don't do anything. Seriously, if they are making it difficult for others to pay attention, then take them out to quiet/calm down! That being said, I believe we will have childcare provided, at least during the ceremony, to prevent my sadness/anger later when you can't tell what's being said because a kiddo is loudly crying for candy or something!
I am a mom and will NOT even think of getting married without my son there. Plus T is a dad too and our kids will definitely attend.
Our couple friends are about 2/3 with kids, and 1/3 without.
I have no problem with kids at our wedding and will be prepared! Having been a mom (single mom, divorced over 5 years), I have brought my son to weddings and know what works and what doesn't in occupying the little one. Bubbles fascinate them. Color crayons and coloring books and stickers make them super busy. Having a small kids' food station is great too! Think chicken fingers, curly fries, mac n cheese balls (fried ones are great!), gummi bears, ice cream station, mini sliders. And make that table smaller but insist (I saw this at a wedding 3 years back) that only parents help their children make their plates at the kids' buffet). Even mini cupcakes for the kids!
We are only having my niece, who will be the flower girl. She is the only child we are really close to.
My future step daughters are my bridesmaids and my future stepson is one of his groomsmen. Our flower girl is my MOH's daughter...can't wait to see them all dressed up! And my fiance's Best Man's son will be at the wedding as well...those are the only kids! :)
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Our original wedding plan included 80 guests and we assumed some would be children. But we've since revised our budget and the size of the wedding shrank significantly (to 35 guests) so now there's really no room for kids. But there will be PLENTY of children when we host the reception a month later.
We are having kids, I originally didn't want to but it's difficult because a lot of my fiance's family won't come if their kids aren't invited. So we are just doing kids from 1st cousins anything beyong that they aren't invited. We aren't inviting our friends kids cause they have family they can send their kids to. It's difficult. We are also having one of our ushers at the church to ask anyone that walks in with kids sit in the kids booth so if they cry or anything it would interupt our ceremony.
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We are havin kids, originally I didn't want kids. But my FH would have a lot of his family not come if their kids weren't invited so we adjusted. We are only inviting kids up to first cousins. We are not inviting our friends kids, since they have places to send their children. We are also having one of our ushers, stand inside the church and ask anyone that walks in with children to sit in the childrens room (its a glass room in the back of the church that has speakers so you can still watch and listen to the ceremony) so if any kids start crying or acting up they won't interupt the ceremony.
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We are having our nieces and nephews only. Two of them will be flowergirls anyway. So that brings our kid total up to five. The flowergirls will be 2 1/2 and 1 1/2 years old. The other girls will be two weeks old, 6, and our nephew is 9. I think the parents will be good about things.
My only concern is my 1 1/2 year old niece. Her mom and dad are in the wedding! I'm not sure who will take care of her if she gets upset during the ceremony. However, she ordinarily loves church and is a pretty happy baby.
Our budget and venue kept us from inviting kids.
Since the wedding is a destination wedding and almost everyone has kids, they are all welcome to come. Guests will be making the wedding a family vacation, so it would be a bit odd if their children could not come to the wedding and reception.
We don't have any little ones in our immediate family and I don't want any children that aren't family running around. SO no kids. Only my FH and his fraternity brothers ;)
calioteach- I agree with you for all of the same reasons. When I see a wedding video and there is a kid screaming through the whole ceremony, I feel terrible for the bride. I went to a reception where, I kid you not, the children were playing hide-n-seek, full force. Maybe its a personality thing, some brides aren't bothered by it. But I would get fed up pretty fast.
And I too love kids!
Good luck to all of you who have decided not to have children at your weddings. Be prepared for people to be nasty about it and some just flat out give you the ultimatum (If I can't bring my kid, then I'm not coming!).
Kids were welcome at our wedding simply because we had an informal/daytime/outdoor affair, but I felt so bad for my husband's cousin who got married 10 days before us and who did not children at their formal/nightime event. It was like the entire family was talking behind her back. She even ended up with one guest just bringing her kid anyways, and the child completely interrupted the ceremony. She had the wedding at a very high-end country club and the kid's parent let her run wild during the ceremony - she even went over to the newly planted flowerbed and started yanking plants out of the ground; roots and all! Mind you, this was happening about 5 feet from where the bride and groom were exchanging vows, so it was visible to everyone and the kid ended up in a lot of photos! Just beware that some people may just ignore your rule!
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The only child we had at our wedding was my 2.5 yr old nephew who escorted my mom down the aisle. If it were up to me, all 15 of the kids under 5 that were related to the guests we invited would have been there, but my husand's family has a very different idea about kids at weddings than I do and in the end, he won out.
We aren't having kids at our wedding. The decision was based on both time of the event...and money. While maybe 1/5 of our guests have kids - they are all still diaper age, and looking forward to a night out! We've only run into one issue with this - my fiance's mother wants him to invite his two younger cousins that are 9 and 11. When he refused (I actually didn't know about this until weeks later), his Mother said we should just cut their mother (his aunt) from our guest list as well - as she wouldn't want to come without them.
I thought that was an 'interesting solution' on her part. Rather than having his Aunt be able to make the decision on her own as to if she wanted to attend or not - she made the decision for her. It's too bad, his Aunt is a lovely woman and both he and I would have liked her to attend.
Interesting poll! Its seems like it's pretty evenly split between yes, no and just a few.
In our case, all the kids we are inviting are family members. About 1/4 of our (small) guest list are children under the age of 14. We couldn't NOT invite them- they're nephews/nieces/cousins- so we're trying to be very accommodating.
I kind of feel like if we didn't allow the kids I'd piss off a lot of family members & all my guests would be talking about how they couldn't believe I didn't invite their kids.
We're dining at a restaurant that isn't kid friendly, so the restaurant is ordering in pizza for the kids lol. The kids centerpieces can't be candles & flowers- so they're getting coloring supplies & apples. For dessert- they're getting sprinkled donuts. We also plan on hiring someone to entertain the kids outside while the adults do their thing. It really didn't cost us much to have kids at our wedding & it will avoid a lot of awkward issues. Well, at least I hope it will!
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I never really had a choice. In my family, it is just assumed that kids are invited to weddings. All weddings, regardless of formality or time. It would have caused serious family drama to even bring up the idea of a wedding sans children. That's the only thing many of my relatives would have remembered about my wedding. I don't really mind; in fact, I can't really imagine my wedding without some of the kids, especially my nieces. However, with a tight guest list and 40 children under 10 invited, it was certainly tempting!
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We are not inviting children to our wedding. It is not a financial reason, but rather a matter of appropriateness. I feel that it is inappropriate to have children at a wedding. In addition, I want my guests to be able to enjoy themselves and most of the parents being invited are looking forward to a relaxing night away. Our venue is not large and if we invite one family's children, EVERYONE else will want their kids invited, too. It is our day and in the end we chose to not include children.
In our family it's not even a question - when I was a kid I went to all of my uncles' weddings, and I wouldn't want to exclude their kids now. But that's just our family. A couple of our friends have a kid, and they're definitely invited, but I have a feeling they may just drop their children off with the babysitter.
I could definitely see if you were having a very formal event that it'd be for the best to do an adults only event. It's just a personal choice, like any other wedding-related decision. Certainly doesn't mean a couple is anti-children!
We had a lot of kids at the wedding. Atleast 25 of them, and they had a blast. I honestly think kids enjoy weddings more than the adults.
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My FI and I have just sent our guest lists to our parents to look over in preparation to send STDs. We did not include kids on the guest list, because we weren't sure if we'd invite them. For me it really comes down to cost, I know kids won't eat tons of food, but I'd rather have one more friend then two more children come to our wedding. I mean if money was no factor then, ok kids could come, along with all those friends we wish we could have invited as well. But that's not really the case. I also worry about them running around, screaming, and us all turning into babysitters, but saying no kids seems to be so touchy and I'm not sure I want to deal with that either.
There have been a few threads on the subject, but I'm loving these polls. So tell me, did/will you invite children to your wedding?