Post # 1
I’m at a loss for etiquette here!
I want to invite kids to my wedding, I love kids! However, I know damn well that the four under-3 year olds in our families will ruin the wedding and the reception.
Four crying babies/toddlers? No thanks. But I want my slightly older nephews and FI’s young cousins to attend.
How would I tell the parents? One will be the first of my bridesmaid (and FSIL), one a cousin of my FI’s whos older sibling (4) I would like to attend, and the other two are one each for my sisters, who also have older siblings (5,5 and 6) who will attend.
Post # 3
I get you don’t want little, little ones underfoot, but I don’t see how you could ask a parent to leave one child at home and bring other ones (if I’m reading your post correctly). That will get real awkward, real fast. I’m not sure there is a way to do that without causing some issues, unfortunately. You may just have to suck it up and let all kids come.
Post # 4
@FutureMrsHallam: In all likelihood, splitting up families won’t go down well. In each family it’s really got to be all the kids or none.
Post # 5
Are you saying that a baby/toddler that will be in the arms of their parent at all times would be more disruptive than kids aged 4-12 who are free to run around?
I think you either have to have all kids or no kids otherwise it is rather rude.
But if you make rules like only these kids can come or no kids can come please do not get upset and complain about guests that make the choice to skip your wedding. Just like you they have to make the choice that works for them.
Post # 6
You really can’t ask only part of the family, especially if the siblings aren’t very far off in age (ie, I wouldn’t think it was terrible if you were inviting older teenagers but not 2 year olds).
How old are the babies in question? Young babies sleep a lot, so it may not be as much of a problem.
Post # 7
@FutureMrsHallam: We set our age limit at 5. We slipped a note in the program that said stated in a sweet and dignified manner that children under 5 would not be accomidated at the wedding or reception.
Post # 8
@kittyface: Of the four they will be 10, 11, 19 and 20 months. Im not sure of how much they sleep or their specific needs at these ages, that’s why Im asking for help.
@LuvMySailor: Could I ask how you worded such a note? It’s nice to see someone who had the same idea.
@j_jaye: Kids “running around” isnt a problem for us because they eat the same food (kid friendly finger foods), they play with eachother, we will have a specific area for the kids with stuff to play with, we’re having a photobooth sort of thing which we hope they will love, and they love to dance and have the ability to stay up for at least the majority of the night.
Parents out there, what do you do when or if the child goes to sleep, gets tired and refuses to sleep etc.? What kind of options can I offer at the venue maybe?
Post # 9
@FutureMrsHallam: We wanted to do this too and were met with very cold responses from everyone. WE had to concede in the end, people actually said they wouldn’t come if they couldn’t bring their kids. FIL didnt want to offend family, a groomsman almost dropped out…It was just uncomfortable all around. So we had kids, and yup, they were underfoot. Better luck to you if you can get away with it and not be blacklisted.
Post # 10
@FutureMrsHallam: It read
“Due to the reverence of the ceremony and as the reception will extend late into the evening, children under the age of 5 will not be acommidated at the wedding or reception”.
I got it from the Bee back in 2010!!
I went to a wedding in APril and the card read “Please no children”.
Post # 12
@LuvMySailor: Did you have any families with kids both over and under 5, and what did they do? (i.e. (a) bring older kids only, (b) bring no kids, (c) stay away … hopefully not (c)!)
Post # 13
@FutureMrsHallam: I think you should invite all kids or no kids.
And if you decide to exclude any children be prepared for their parents not to show up either. Not saying all parents will stay home, but I know parents who definitely would.
Post # 14
@paula1248: I lucked out!
When guests saw the rule, they left ALL their kids home hahaha.
My husband and I took ayear to plan our wedding. So when we got engaged, I contacted all my relatives with children and let them know 12 months out our wedding was adult only. I told them I wanted “US” to have a night to drink, dance, and party without children underfoot.
Again, I was lucky. Everyone wanted a night out.
THe only glitch is my SIL, who traveled 15 hours to the wedding, had to bring my 3 year old nephew. My family was not too happy, but I reminded them that we lived 10 minutes away from the reception hall, while my inlaws lived 2 states away. They agreed.
Post # 15
We had two little kids at our wedding. One was 3 weeks old. There was not a sound from him. He slept the entire time. The other was about 1.5 years old. She slept through the ceremony. During the reception, I gave her a little bag with toys to keep her occupied. I have some cute pictures of her from our wedding.
For me, it is either all kids or none at all.
Post # 16
I get where you are comeing from but I agree with people that people will generally bring all there kids or none and can you imagine how you would feel if you were 3 and your brother or sister was 4 and they were invited and you weren’t I imagine it would cause some pretty ugly family rows and the parents will probably go well we aren’t going then and it sounds like you really want these people at your wedding it’s up to you but if you do go for the no kids under three rule be prepared for a shorter guest list.