Inviting kids – but only over 3's

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I get you don’t want little, little ones underfoot, but I don’t see how you could ask a parent to leave one child at home and bring other ones (if I’m reading your post correctly). That will get real awkward, real fast. I’m not sure there is a way to do that without causing some issues, unfortunately. You may just have to suck it up and let all kids come. 

Post # 4
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FutureMrsHallam:  In all likelihood, splitting up families won’t go down well. In each family it’s really got to be all the kids or none.

Post # 5
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Are you saying that a baby/toddler that will be in the arms of their parent at all times would be more disruptive than kids aged 4-12 who are free to run around?

I think you either have to have all kids or no kids otherwise it is rather rude.

But if you make rules like only these kids can come or no kids can come please do not get upset and complain about guests that make the choice to skip your wedding. Just like you they have to make the choice that works for them.

 

Post # 6
Member
1867 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

You really can’t ask only part of the family, especially if the siblings aren’t very far off in age (ie, I wouldn’t think it was terrible if you were inviting older teenagers but not 2 year olds).

How old are the babies in question? Young babies sleep a lot, so it may not be as much of a problem.

Post # 7
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@FutureMrsHallam:  We set our age limit at 5. We slipped a note in the program that said stated in a sweet and dignified manner that children under 5 would not be accomidated at the wedding or reception.

 

Post # 9
Member
2329 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@FutureMrsHallam:  We wanted to do this too and were met with very cold responses from everyone. WE had to concede in the end, people actually said they wouldn’t come if they couldn’t bring their kids. FIL didnt want to offend family, a groomsman almost dropped out…It was just uncomfortable all around. So we had kids, and yup, they were underfoot. Better luck to you if you can get away with it and not be blacklisted.

Post # 10
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@FutureMrsHallam:  It read

“Due to the reverence of the ceremony and as the reception will extend late into the evening, children under the age of 5 will not be acommidated at the wedding or reception”.

I got it from the Bee back in 2010!!

 

I went to a wedding in APril and the card read “Please no children”.

I giggled.

Post # 12
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@LuvMySailor:  Did you have any families with kids both over and under 5, and what did they do? (i.e. (a) bring older kids only, (b) bring no kids, (c) stay away … hopefully not (c)!)

Post # 13
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@FutureMrsHallam:  I think you should invite all kids or no kids. 

And if you decide to exclude any children be prepared for their parents not to show up either. Not saying all parents will stay home, but I know parents who definitely would. 

Post # 14
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@paula1248:  I lucked out!

When guests saw the rule, they left ALL their kids home hahaha.

My husband and I took ayear to plan our wedding. So when we got engaged, I contacted all my relatives with children and let them know 12 months out our wedding was adult only. I told them I wanted “US” to have a night to drink, dance, and party without children underfoot.

Again, I was lucky. Everyone wanted a night out.

THe only glitch is my SIL, who traveled 15 hours to the wedding, had to bring my 3 year old nephew. My family was not too happy, but I reminded them that we lived 10 minutes away from the reception hall, while my inlaws lived 2 states away. They agreed.

Post # 15
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We had two little kids at our wedding. One was 3 weeks old. There was not a sound from him. He slept the entire time. The other was about 1.5 years old. She slept through the ceremony. During the reception, I gave her a little bag with toys to keep her occupied. I have some cute pictures of her from our wedding. 

For me, it is either all kids or none at all.

Post # 16
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I get where you are comeing from but I agree with people that people will generally bring all there kids or none and can you imagine how you would feel if you were 3 and your brother or sister was 4 and they were invited and you weren’t I imagine it would cause some pretty ugly family rows and the parents will probably go well we aren’t going then and it sounds like you really want these people at your wedding it’s up to you but if you do go for the no kids under three rule be prepared for a shorter guest list.

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