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What time is your reception and will there be alcohol? I think that it would be perfectly acceptable to allow kids to come to the ceremony if the parents wished (as it is more of a solemn event) and then not allow them to come to the reception (if it is late and there is alcohol). The reception is basically a party and there are lots of reasons to not have kids, not the least of which is that you want their parents to be able to really be in the moment and celebrate! It is great that you're providing childcare during the reception, but I see no problem with allowing kids to go to the ceremony if you want to. :)
I think I agree. Perhaps if you mention it casually. Like you could just call or e-mail the parents and say, "If the kids are interested or just looking for something to do, it would be all right for them to attend the ceremony." Also, with these babysitters you have for the hotel guests, would the babysitters be available for the ceremony too? If not, the OOT guests would need to figure something out for their kids. Either one or both of them would have to skip the ceremony, or they'd have to bring the kids. So in a way, it makes a lot of sense to allow them to come to the ceremony. That could also be something you say to the parents, as to why the kids are invited to the ceremony.
The ceremony is going to start around 5:30-6 pm and then there's going to be alcohol served directly after... like, the guests will walk out of the ceremony and be handed a cocktail. Childcare is going to be available the whole time, as I have a two year old niece and a brand new baby niece or nephew who will need someone to watch them.
If I let them attend the ceremony and it's a 5:30 pm start, should I provide dinner for the kids or can I get away with just snacks? Our venue said that we can't have food delivered to the room (we're using the groom's get ready room for kids, it's on the same floor as the rest of the wedding).
How would you feed them if they won't let you bring food for them?
Also, I don't think you should make it a point to state specifically if kids can come to ceremony just say it's adults only and babysitting will be provided. Than as parents ask just say o they are more than welcome to join us for the ceremony, but for the reception we are having a strict no children policy since there will be alcohol and our venue won't let children around it or something like that
Well I don't think the idea is horrible, as long as there's adequate adult supervision but practically speaking it seems like it might be tough to pull off. That means that you'd have to designate someone to escort the children to the proper room and someone would have to provide dinner for the children anyway. So there parents would still be responsible for making sure their child is fed and being watched properly. Hmmm, that's a toughy but if you can figure out how to cover all the bases I think its fine. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'd say to just stick with the no children policy because I'm sure most children wouldn't want to attend the ceremony without attending the reception. And some parents may not feel comforatble with the arrangement.
Actually, if the ceremony is right before the reception, I would probably just stick with providing the babysitting for both, and be done with it too. I was thinking the ceremony was in a different location and only babysitting for the reception. I still think that it would be OK, for the kids to attend the ceremony if they really wanted to. But I don't think your Fi should feel obligated to "make some gesture" to make them feel included. (Not sure if that's why he asked.) The ceremony and reception basically are one big event.
I think what is a bigger issue, IMO, is that the venue won't allow food in the babysitting room. To me that is incredibly upsurd. If any demographic needs food to be easily accesible, it's kids. It shouldn't be allowed to be a babysitting room, then. And for the venue to not accomodate that seems like terrible customer service. I'd consider talking to them to see if they could bend the rules. Or at least what they suggest you do about feeding these kids.
On our invites we have only invited adults (and very small babies). Some people have older children that aren't mentioned on the invites, because we are having an adults-only reception. On our website in the RSVP section I've put a note that says "children are welcome at the ceremony but due to space restrictions we ask that you make alternative arrangements for the reception. the venue can arrange babysitting..." Our ceremony has no space restrictions (it's outdoors) and it's not such an "adult" event in my mind (e.g. no alcohol). I felt it might be easier for the parents if they only had to worry about organising babysitting etc for the evening (plus there will be 90-odd minutes between end of ceremony and start of reception, which they could spend with their children if they wished). We haven't sent the invites out yet though so I'll wait & see what everyone decides to do!
Our venue would allow us to bring in food, but they wouldn't allow us to do something like have pizza delivered. We would have to arrange for someone (ie, their parents probably) who would have to go out and find food to bring to the kids, or else we would have to make parents pack a dinner for them. Or I guess I could always put a note on our website to the effect of "Some snacks will be provided in the childcare room"....
Thank you for all the helpful suggestions! I think I'm probably going to stick with the original plan in order to make things more cohesive and easy on everyone and just provide the babysitter for out of town guests who are staying in hotels. The rest of the family can figure it out, since they will most likely be staying with family members who can help them find local babysitters for the evening.
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Need some help with this one... we are having our wedding ceremony and reception in the same hotel ballroom. It's at the W Hotel. There will be a cocktail hour in the foyer space while the room is flipped from the ceremony in between.
Back when we first started planning, FI and I decided no kids would be invited because there was no way to cut it off at any age (ie, if we allowed 13 and older, we would have to include the 10 year old siblings, and if we included them, we would have to invite the 10 year old and 8 year old cousins...etc. etc. etc.) and it added up to almost 20 extra people and I finally said "NO CHILDREN!" because it was giving me the biggest bridal headache of my life!
Long story short.. FI has come to me to ask if it's ok that some kids be allowed to come to the ceremony only. We are having a room set aside for child care IF NEEDED for out of town guest's children who are staying in hotels. FI thinks that it's ok to let the kids (we're talking age 8 and up here, not babies) come to the ceremony and then go into the child care room.
I told him I think that's rude, and that it sends the message that we are ok with them coming to the ceremony but we don't want to pay for your kids to eat dinner. I think it makes us look like we're cheap and I don't want that.
What do you all think? I desperately need some help deciding what to do. Also, does anyone have any experience with NOT inviting relatives who are in the 8-13 year old age range? I personally think most kids that age could care less about attending a wedding but then again, I am not a 13 year old boy so I'm not really an expert :)