(Closed) Inviting Kids?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Will/did you invite kids to your wedding?
    yes - kids are/were more then welcome. : (25 votes)
    37 %
    a limited number- I'm only having/had a few, like a flower girl and ring bearer. : (19 votes)
    28 %
    wasn't planning on it - but I was/am being pressured into having them. : (3 votes)
    4 %
    no way - only adults at my wedding. : (20 votes)
    30 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    198 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    i think my fiance and i only know three little kids, so there wouldn’t be many for us to invite. we haven’t really discussed if we will invite them or not. i’m split on the decision, but i lean slightly more toward no because, like you said, i don’t want to worry about them running around. at the same time, i think i will be doing so much other stuff on the day of that i won’t even think about it. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    456 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    We’re providing very little food, so the only additional cost with kids is the extra cake. Since our lady is doing the cake at a VERY reasonable price, that’s not an issue. So we’re inviting 20-40 kids, believe it or not. Our families just have a zillion. And for us, it wouldn’t be terribly fair to not invite the kids, since a lot of the families are coming from another city, and since most of our family (read- free babysitters) will be at the wedding, it’d be costly for them to find someone else to watch the kids. But mostly we just don’t mind. We’re doing half cake, half cupcakes, and there are some basketball goals outside the reception location, so hopefully they’ll have fun too!

    Post # 5
    Member
    1238 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2008

    We did not invite children to our wedding. It was a mix of a money factor and a "keep my sanity" factor.  I know most people think it is cute, but I just don’t like it when a bunch of kids take over the dance floor and run around.  I find it very stressfull and that was the last thing I wanted on my wedding day.

    We dealt with a lot of crap for this, from both sides of the family (but not from any of our friends).  In the long run it was WORTH dealing with the crap.  It is amazing how rude and presumptious family can be, and I think I got to see a side of some people that they usually keep hidden. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    124 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2009

    Because our wedding is starting so late and is already over 200 people, we decided that the only children we would invite are our cousins that are atleast 10 years old. My aunt just had a baby and has a 2 year old, so we’re in the process of helping her and any other people coming with kids find or we’ll provide some babysitting and general kid fun back at the hotel.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2022 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Having kids or not at my wedding does not matter much to me.  But my mother feels very strongly that children should not be invited to weddings.  I am having a flower girl, who will be 7, so she will be invited, but that’s it.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3332 posts
    Sugar bee

    We are not inviting anyone younger than 16.  I felt the same way as you, caliocteach.  Our decision was a combination of money/size and approriateness.  We’re having an evening wedding in a smaller venue, and I knew that kids wouldn’t be comfortable there.  I’m an early childhood teacher, so it’s certainly not that I don’t love kids, but I just knew what I wanted for the wedding day.  I’ve gotten some negative reactions from people, but I’m so glad that we’ve stuck to what we wanted and not gotten pressured into changing our minds.

    Post # 9
    Member
    461 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2009

    It’s not so much that I was pressured  , as my family started reproducing! I think there will be 7 little ones all under 5 at our wedding. I was hoping for an adult only event , but it would not be fair to the family to exclude the sprouts! 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1238 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2008

    Jessie516 –  I’m glad to hear that!  Earlier I got a lot of flack on one of these boards for not inviting kids and I was accused of not liking kids.  My husband and I are both teachers and we have dedicated our lives to children. We did have a few 16 year olds at our wedding, but they were family that my husband and I are both close to. We also had two former students of mine (both 18) perform during the ceremony. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    952 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    We don’t have many kids in our immediate family, but all are invited. We’re having an afternoon wedding with a game theme-so how could we not invite them?

    Post # 12
    Member
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    Erindesmar, my FI’s parents are like your mom — they feel very strongly that weddings are not appropriate places for children.  They adore kids, they’re "honorary grandparents" to half their neighborhood, but they feel that weddings are formal occasions and that both kids and parents will have a lot more fun if the little ones are home with a babysitter and some pizza.

    I honestly didn’t have a strong opinion either way (there were only a handful of under-12s we might have invited), but we decided not to invite kids under 12 for two reasons.  First, my future in-laws prefer it, and I had to admit they had a point about a late-night reception at a historic mansion not being very kid friendly.  Second, two of the kids who might have been on the guest list are a complete nightmare — they throw tantrums and destroy things when they don’t get what they want immediately — and I didn’t think I could get away with excluding those two and still inviting the well-behaved kids. 😛  

    Post # 13
    Member
    390 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    We have lots of kids on the guest list.  There are several in our families and many more children of guests; we are close to all of them, so I can’t imagine them not being included.  While I don’t mind them attending, I do dislike when a child is crying/talking loudly and being disruptive and the parents/guardian don’t do anything.  Seriously, if they are making it difficult for others to pay attention, then take them out to quiet/calm down!  That being said, I believe we will have childcare provided, at least during the ceremony, to prevent my sadness/anger later when you can’t tell what’s being said because a kiddo is loudly crying for candy or something!

    Post # 14
    Member
    7054 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I am a mom and will NOT even think of getting married without my son there.  Plus T is a dad too and our kids will definitely attend.

    Our couple friends are about 2/3 with kids, and 1/3 without. 

    I have no problem with kids at our wedding and will be prepared!  Having been a mom (single mom, divorced over 5 years), I have brought my son to weddings and know what works and what doesn’t in occupying the little one.  Bubbles fascinate them.  Color crayons and coloring books and stickers make them super busy.  Having a small kids’ food station is great too!  Think chicken fingers, curly fries, mac n cheese balls (fried ones are great!), gummi bears, ice cream station, mini sliders.  And make that table smaller but insist (I saw this at a wedding 3 years back) that only parents help their children make their plates at the kids’ buffet).  Even mini cupcakes for the kids!  

    Post # 15
    Member
    538 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    We are only having my niece, who will be the flower girl. She is the only child we are really close to.

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