Inviting lifelong friends that you haven't talked to in ages?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@amyeb25:  You know, it could go one of two ways, they either open the envelope, read the invitation and get all kinds of excited for you and to see you…or, they’re completely blown away by the fact that they were invited at all and assume you only did it to get butts in the seats or for a gift….

There’s no real way to predict, but maybe a phone call, and some non-wedding related get together would test the waters more effectively?

Post # 4
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@amyeb25:  “I’m getting married back in our hometown and would love them all to be there”

That’s your asnwer.  Invite them.  If they don’t want to come, they can politely decline.  If you feel this way there is a good chance they do too.  We all miss our old friends.

Post # 5
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@amyeb25:  I think you should invite them.  I recently got into contact with a cousin I haven’t seen in FOREVER.  She lives in Hawaii and when I was younger and would go visit our grandparents…I was always with her and her family. But after my grandmother passed away and my grandfather couldn’t care less about his children and grandchildred I lost contact with my aunt, uncle and cousins.  I know she won’t be able to attend our wedding, but I want her to know she’s invited…she’s really the only family I have on that side, so I plan on sending her an invite. IMO, its the thought that counts…so i say go for it 🙂 The worst that can happen is they won’t attend, but i’m sure they will appreciate the thought regardless.

Post # 6
Member
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta

@amyeb25: I say yes. You were once very close and you still keep in contact some what and there was no drama or break up.

I am inviting 3 high school friends. Two of them I haven’t talked to in about 3 years. The third is going to be a BM and kinda wondering about it. We aren’t really that close anymore, saw eachother once 2 years ago and she might stop by this winter, talk online often so we will see what happens there…. 

Post # 7
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think only you can judge the relationship. I have friends I rarely get to see that I was best friends with in high school, that I still invited. We keep in touch via Facebook and try to hang out if the others in town but I still FEEL close to them, so I invited them. For perspective, the girl who was my best friend through much of elementary school was not invited. No fall out, fight, anything, we just grew into different people that care about the other but I did not feel close to her.

If you can afford it, and you want them there, then go for it. They can always decline. As long as you include their spouses/SOs if they have them, no one would be insulted.

Post # 8
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee

@Nona99:  +1 I agree with reaching out to them for a non-wedding related meeting/call/etc. to feel them out, then make your decision.

Post # 9
Member
641 posts
Busy bee

I have never gotten an invitation to a wedding and assumed it was a gift grab. Possibly because I do not see my friends as loathese creatures. Possibly because I know that hosting a wedding costs far more than gifts (Seriously. Do people think that couples are heading out of a wedding with more than they invested into it? If all a bride wanted was gifts, she’d get married in the courthouse, furnish her home with $1500 in basic appliances and dishes and such, and then go buy a nice car and $3,500 in really amazing shoes, right? That’s better than hosting this massive event because she wants her friends to buy her a toaster.)

If one of my childhood friends invited me to their wedding, I would be DELIGHTED to attend, and I bet your buddies would to. Even if they can’t attend, it’s a sweet reminder that they are in your heart.

Post # 10
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I would add a handwritten note on the invitation telling them I miss them and want to see them and couldn’t imagine getting married wihout them there 🙂 they’ll love that!

Post # 12
Member
4163 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Do it. I was a 40-yr old bride, and if we’d have the budget, there are a few women in my life, similar to the ones you mentioned, whom I would have love to have had there. One difference: I saw them at our high school reunion a couple years ago/reconnected.

They can always decline, so there’s no loss in sending an invite.

 

Post # 13
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Nona99:  +1. I personally wouldn’t but to each their own. 

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