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we had my shower at a countryclub, and officially men weren't invited, but my dad really wanted to do brunch there too because he loves the food, so he invited a few men (the men in the wedding party, my fi's dad, and some friends) to eat in the main dining area, while we were in a private room. they popped in quite often to see what was going on, which of course i didn't mind, so i thought it was kind of silly that they weren't just with us the whole time.
Personally, I've never been to a shower with men invited.
Edit/addition: and my FI definitely won't be invited because we live in NYC and the shower will be upstate. No reason for him to drag himself three hours away from the city to make an appearance haha ;o)
I've never been to one either, but I kind of want to include FI if he wants to be there. I am sure that I won't have just one, so it shouldn't matter. I want one co-ed shower where people bring his and her gifts. That way we can get things just for us. Then the other shower can be ladies only. I also want a lingerie shower...so basically I want 3. We'll see how that goes, lol.
I've never been to a shower where men were invited, but I did go to one where the groom was there.
I think it is important for the groom to be present as it isn't just for the bride. I had my dad and my sister's FFIL at hers. I believe that the groom, my dad, and groom's dad will be present at mine.
The whole thing is baffling to me too... I'm kind of disturbed at the sexist implications of only women being present when cooking supplies are being passed around. My FI and his friends cook too and the stuff will be in OUR kitchen. I think the no-men thing is bizarre.
We're having a couples shower so we could invite everyone. I've been to showers where men were present but they typically hid out or did their own thing in another room.
FI is really looking forward to it and helped me register, it's been his favorite part. I think my dad would be so upset if he wasn't invited. I actually just went to a shower last week where every member of the bridal part including groomsmen were invited.
No men come to showers in my family. Its just a girl thing and honestly i dont think the men would come if we invited them lol. But overall i think its what you want its your shower if you want the guys their have them their.
@LegallyBlondeBride: I don't think it's "sexist," I've just always thought it's a girl thing. My dad/FFIL/FI/groomsmen would be bored to tears at a bridal shower. I just always thought it was a thing for the ladies, like the b-party ;o)
Couples showers are getting to be pretty common now, but I think those are typically more cocktail partyish and don't involve everyone sitting around for opening presents. For my shower, only women are invited, but I'm not sure my dad understands that yet. I think he wants to come, and with 5 daughters, he's totally comfortable in girlworld. Its in his community club house, so if he wants to stop by, I'm cool with that. And I told FI to stop by for the last 20 minutes or so. It'll be more like he's come to help clean up and carry the gifts out, but he'll also get to say a quick hello and thank you to all the guest too.
other reasons we in my family have for not inviting guys include lingerie allot of time the bride will get gifted wedding night lingerie and toys and if the guy is their that just spoils the fun.
There were men at our wedding shower, but then again, we didn't have a traditional shower. Instead of lots of games, it was a murder mystery, and we had tons of desserts instead of a meal.
I see absolutely no harm in inviting men to come along. Being invited doesn't force them to accept. You could also have something else planned for the men while the women attend the actual shower.
Yeah, at my shower it "No men invited". Eh rude? maybe. but really what guy really wants to be at a bridal shower other then for the food. My FI and dad will be just as happy when I bring them back all the leftovers. haha
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Every wedding shower I have even been to has had the fathers of the bride and groom as well as the brothers of the bride and groom. For my shower both of our fathers and our brothers were invited. The in-laws are very taken back by this concept by this and don't think it is the place for a man.
I guess I love under a rock sometimes. I always thought this was the norm, but apparently not. Is anyone else having men at their shower?