Post # 1
Is this common? I’ve read several posts about people having a strict guest list max, but sending out MORE invites than their max? Is this common? I’m very recently engaged and FI and I are looking at our lists (including everyone’s children and spouses just in case) and I do NOT intend on sending out any more invites thathan our guest list max. Worst case, EVERYONE says yes, they are coming.
But we are also having a smaller wedding. Is this more common for larger guest lists?
Post # 3
It’s not smart to invite more people than you can accomodate for exactly the reason you said – everyone comes. That being said, I invited about 10 people more than my maximum, but my wedding is semi-destination (for everyone but me!) and involves 500+ miles of traveling…the ten people extra are above 80 and don’t travel, but were obligatory to send. Before sending, I knew 100% that they weren’t coming.
Post # 4
I think it’s a terrible idea but my friend is inviting 390+ and her room can only hold 250. She’s hoping people don’t show.
Post # 5
We invited our max and only sent out invites and plus ones to equal our maximum.
Post # 6
I’m having an A-list and a B-list. Wait for replies and then see if you can invite more.
Post # 7
I could never invite more people than I could physically accomodate – it would stress me out way too much!
We have a max guest list of exactly 184 people (exluding vendors) and I’m sure not all of them will come (we’re hoping for 150 people max) but I’ve made a point of only looking at venues that will fit this number and budgeting for this number.
The people that invite more than the venue holds are really really brave in my opinion.
Post # 8
@abbie017: That makes sense. I’ve been wondering how to handle those types of invites. As much as I would like to just take the chance that they come, if I’m not really THAT close with them and don’t think they will come, I’m thinking about just sending out a wedding announcement post wedding to those we would’ve liked to invite. MAYBE. We’ll see what the budget is. Neither of our families are helping so I’m not really trying to worry about stepping toes (because it WILL happen).
@Birdee106: OMG! That sounds like such a disaster!!
@RockStar33: Did you find that most people came? Did it save any money for those who didn’t end up coming? (That sounds petty, but I’m just curious how it works. I think most caterers pay based on the number you give them, not the number who show – right?)
Post # 9
@heatherlm84: Oh hey, you’re not important enough to invite to my wedding… unless someone I wanted there more than you can’t make it… then sure, I’ll invite you and I expect a gift too!
B-listing is rude.
Post # 10
I heard people saying to invite over by 15-20 percent. however I wasn’t comfortable doing that. Most of my family are in the New England area and will travel, and last year when My Fi Cousin got married in New York nearly his whole family including the older generation traveled for it.So just to be on the safe side we are inviting people who can fit in there according to the fire code.
Post # 11
@wbg21: I disagree on this one.
I will be pinching every penny I can, and unfortunately that means some people just won’t make my A list. BUT, you’re darn right that if someone can’t make it, I will be asking those I wish could come if they would like to. Fact is, those that are close to you and trully happy for the couple will be happy for you whether they are invited or not. And if they’re not happy because they didn’t get an invite, then they are missing the bigger picture.
Post # 12
We did this to an extent. I think we invited at least 10 guests over what we originally planned for. It worked out for us as we did have some guests decline the invitation.
Post # 13
@Cady: Ya, that kind of overage I can wrap my head around.
Post # 14
@MargaritaVille: yep, we only had 5 people not come but we knew that ahead of time. We invited 112. I think the more smaller and intimate the wedding, the more likely your whole guest list will come as opposed to bigger weddings.
and the caterers don’t allow for extras. They plan for only the final head count, so you will have to pay the rest for unexpected guests later.
we didn’t have any no shows but I imagine you would be out that money, or they could allot it somewhere else.
Thats why I never understood how some venues require full payment before the wedding day is over. The budget, numbers etc are constantly changing. We didn’t have to pay The remainder until after the wedding
Post # 15
@MargaritaVille: Yeah I would never think to risk it by inviting anymore then that.
Post # 16
Our venue can hold up to 200 people but we have only gotten quotes for 140 (cake, catering, etc) but we invited 180. Now for us its not THAT stressful because we can change our cake size and catering number and pay the difference, which isn’t in our budget but we can make it work since our budget isn’t exactly set in stone). However, we figure our number will still be around 140 because we know for a fact some people won’t come and figure some family friends may have other plans as well since our wedding is easter weekend.