Post # 1
I’ve been questioning whether or not I should invite my future mother-in-law dress shopping with my mom and I in a few weeks, and I think I need some unbiased opinions.
A little background:
My fiance and I spend quite a bit of time with his parents (they live in the same city), and I like them a lot. He’s one of three boys, so his mom hasn’t had an opportunity to do something like this with a daughter (I’m not sure if she went with my fiance’s brother’s wife, but I’m guessing not).
My mom will be flying in from out of town in a few weeks specifically so we can go dress shopping together. She and I are very close, and I know she’s really looking forward to sharing this experience with me.
I’m torn because I feel like it would be a nice gesture to invite my future mother-in-law shopping with us, but I also think of this as a “special” thing to do with my mom. At the same time, I don’t want her to feel like she’s being excluded. I also don’t want her to feel like it’s a last minute invite … She does know that my mom will be here in a few weeks and knows that we have plans to shop for a wedding gown.
What do you guys think? Should I go ahead and invite her? Should she be invited to all of the appointments, or just the last one or two (when I’d be making my final decision)? Did you invite your future mother-in-law dress shopping?
Thanks in advance for any advice/suggestions!
Post # 3
Maybe ask your mom how she feels about inviting FMIL?
Post # 4
If you are planning on going to multiple appointments why not invite her to one of the early ones, that way when you are emotional and making that final decision you can share that with your mom alone.
I wanted my MIL to come to an appointment but she didn’t seem really interested in that kind of thing. The first time she saw my dress was the night befor the wedding. She doesn’t have that “girly” thing going on which I understand, I don’t take it personally.
Post # 5
I did the first one with my mom only. He wanted to do it with just me. We found the perfect dress and the second appointment I invited my mil to see the o e we picked. Worked out perfectly!
Post # 6
I think that the experience of just looking for the dress can be just you and your mom. However, maybe bring the MIL along once you’ve narrowed it down and are heading toward making a decision. That sounds like a win-win situation! Hope is all works out for you!
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Have your mother and MIL met, and do they get along? It sounds like your relationship with your MIL is good, and they are both going to be your mother soon enough.. I think it would make a really nice gesture to invite her, and it might be a good opportunity for your moms to get to know each other better as well.
Post # 8
I agree with asking how your mom how she will feel. You never know when your last appointment and final decision will be!!
Post # 9
Every bridal shop website I’ve visited or employee I’ve asked has said to try as hard as you can not to bring anyone with you the first and last time you go (which is usually the only, at least for some of us), and if you have to bring people, bring as few family members as possible. They sway your decision and make brides miserable a lot of the time.
I don’t think this will be the case for you but since you want it to be special with your mom, and your mother and his have never met, I would probably just find something else you can do with FMIL to make her feel included instead.
Post # 10
- Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo
I went with my mom, FMIL, FSILs, and my best friend (our officiant). It was fun. Everyone is super positive and nice and gets along though, so I can see how it could be a nightmare with other people.
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club
I say yes to inviting her, because a wedding is a joining of two families.
My mom doesn’t live in the same state as myself and my MIL, and when my mom was on a visit we decided to randomly go dress shopping together. I invited my MIL right before, but she wasn’t able to attend. She felt honored just being invited.
Post # 12
I’d recommend going by yourself or with your mom to do the majority of the shopping and then do a nice girls day (perhaps with brunch and mimosas???) with your MIL when you’ve narrowed it down. You get the fun experience and don’t have to worrry about having too many opinions to deal wit whe making your decision.
Post # 13
Depends on your FMIL, really. I wouldn’t have ever invited mine, but that is because I know darn well that she would have told me what she wanted me to wear, and then made little jokes or done an annoying laugh like it was funny every time I tried anything else on, even if I loved it.
If you’d like to have her there, invite her. But if you’d prefer to leave it as being between you and your mom, you could ask your FMIL to go with you when it comes time for your first fitting or to pick up the dress. Then she would have her own moment with you and get to see the dress in advance.
Post # 14
I invited my future MIL, SIL, and niece to my first time trying dresses which was sort of a ‘scouting’ type appointment. The real appointment (we went to NYC for Vera Wang) was just my mom and besties. It worked out really well because everyone got to be involved.
Post # 15
Talk with your Mom first. If your Mom is ok with sharing the experience then I say yes. I took my FMIL with me because she only has boys and my FI is the first to get married and I thought it was a nice way to make her feel included in the planning process.
Post # 16
I’m totally inviting my FMIL so I think it’s a good idea if you get along as we’ll as you say:)