(Closed) Inviting my future mother-in-law to go dress shopping … Yay or nay?

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I invite my future mother-in-law to go wedding dress shopping?
    Yes, it sounds like you have a good relationship with her. : (37 votes)
    47 %
    No, it should be a special experience with your mom. : (14 votes)
    18 %
    Yes, but you should only invite her to go with you when you're planning to make the final decision. : (17 votes)
    22 %
    Maybe, but only if ... (Explain in comments) : (10 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    379 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Maybe ask your mom how she feels about inviting FMIL?

    Post # 4
    Hostess
    11174 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    If you are planning on going to multiple appointments why not invite her to one of the early ones, that way when you are emotional and making that final decision you can share that with your mom alone.

    I wanted my MIL to come to an appointment but she didn’t seem really interested in that kind of thing. The first time she saw my dress was the night befor the wedding. She doesn’t have that “girly” thing going on which I understand, I don’t take it personally.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1193 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I did the first one with my mom only.  He wanted to do it with just me.  We found the perfect dress and the second appointment I invited my mil to see the o e we picked.  Worked out perfectly!

    Post # 6
    Member
    1074 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think that the experience of just looking for the dress can be just you and your mom. However, maybe bring the MIL along once you’ve narrowed it down and are heading toward making a decision. That sounds like a win-win situation! Hope is all works out for you!

    Post # 7
    Member
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    Have your mother and MIL met, and do they get along?  It sounds like your relationship with your MIL is good, and they are both going to be your mother soon enough.. I think it would make a really nice gesture to invite her, and it might be a good opportunity for your moms to get to know each other better as well.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3121 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I agree with asking how your mom how she will feel.  You never know when your last appointment and final decision will be!!

    Post # 9
    Member
    246 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Every bridal shop website I’ve visited or employee I’ve asked has said to try as hard as you can not to bring anyone with you the first and last time you go (which is usually the only, at least for some of us), and if you have to bring people, bring as few family members as possible. They sway your decision and make brides miserable a lot of the time.

    I don’t think this will be the case for you but since you want it to be special with your mom, and your mother and his have never met, I would probably just find something else you can do with FMIL to make her feel included instead.

    Post # 10
    Member
    817 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

    I went with my mom, FMIL, FSILs, and my best friend (our officiant). It was fun. Everyone is super positive and nice and gets along though, so I can see how it could be a nightmare with other people.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1578 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

    I say yes to inviting her, because a wedding is a joining of two families.

     

    My mom doesn’t live in the same state as myself and my MIL, and when my mom was on a visit we decided to randomly go dress shopping together. I invited my MIL right before, but she wasn’t able to attend. She felt honored just being invited.

    Post # 12
    Member
    9552 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’d recommend going by yourself or with your mom to do the majority of the shopping and then do a nice girls day (perhaps with brunch and mimosas???) with your MIL when you’ve narrowed it down. You get the fun experience and don’t have to worrry about having too many opinions to deal wit whe making your decision.

    Post # 13
    Member
    4803 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Depends on your FMIL, really. I wouldn’t have ever invited mine, but that is because I know darn well that she would have told me what she wanted me to wear, and then made little jokes or done an annoying laugh like it was funny every time I tried anything else on, even if I loved it.

    If you’d like to have her there, invite her. But if you’d prefer to leave it as being between you and your mom, you could ask your FMIL to go with you when it comes time for your first fitting or to pick up the dress. Then she would have her own moment with you and get to see the dress in advance.

    Post # 14
    Member
    43 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I invited my future MIL, SIL, and niece to my first time trying dresses which was sort of a ‘scouting’ type appointment. The real appointment (we went to NYC for Vera Wang) was just my mom and besties. It worked out really well because everyone got to be involved.

    Post # 15
    Member
    261 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Talk with your Mom first.  If your Mom is ok with sharing the experience then I say yes.  I took my FMIL with me because she only has boys and my FI is the first to get married and I thought it was a nice way to make her feel included in the planning process.

    Post # 16
    Member
    703 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’m totally inviting my FMIL so I think it’s a good idea if you get along as we’ll as you say:)

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