Post # 1
Our wedding is in July, so we are quite a ways off from needing to finalize a guest list. But FI and I have recently become friendly with a couple we met a month or two ago. We’ve hung out three times so far, and I foresee a nice friendship developing here.
If we wind up having the space, I’d like to invite this couple to our wedding. I think it could be a nice gesture of our new friendship and FI and I both would genuinely like to have them there, assuming of course that the friendship solidifies and continues.
Of course it’s too early to invite them, A) invites aren’t going out for MONTHS, and B) we’re not 100% of where the relationship with these two will be by then.
But we are planning on sending out Save the Dates in November. I’m worried that sending one to them would seem pushy or premature, or even gift-grabby. Is it okay to not send a Save the Date at all and to JUST send an invitation when the time comes if the situation is the same, or would that come off as rude and/or give them the impression that they were the B-list? (For refernce, we don’t have a B-list).
Post # 3
@LilySarah: Why not just send them a save the date in a few months? Theirs doesn’t have to be at the same time as everyone elses’, especially if they won’t know anyone else invited.
Post # 4
@LilySarah: I think they would be honored 🙂 It is a great thing to be invited to join in someones big day!
Post # 5
@LilySarah: save the dates are not required. you can hold off and give them a regular invitation
Post # 6
I’m in the same situation – we met some new friends on a cruise right before we got engaged. They’ve been great, but we don’t see them all too much (and aren’t sure where things would be going with this friendship)
Quiet frankly I want to invite them because my portion of the guest list is so small.
I thinkmy list is 30% of our 100+ people getting invites. I want to feel like I have somebody there!
Post # 7
I think it’s fine to just see how the friendship develops and just send an invitation if you choose when you send them out.
Post # 8
Posting so I can follow- we might end up in this situation too. Plus I am starting a new job in October and it’s a small office.
Post # 9
We had a similar situation. We sent out our save the dates pretty early (my bad..) and between the time they went out and the time our invitations went out we became closer with a few new friends. When it came time to send invitations we just invited them. They never knew about the save the dates and IF they did they would have known they went out before we had become friends. So in my opinion you don’t have to send everyone that is invited to your wedding a save the date. I even did that with other people, not including new friends. I sent save the dates to people we KNEW for sure would be invited, family, close friends and other’s i didn’t, just in case things changed.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Just send the invitations when you send them; no save the date. 10 months is a LONG time, and you never know how this new relationship could pan out. I was in the same boat with friends at work and a long engagement; relationships can really change a lot within that time.
Post # 11
I was in a similar situation with a few friends I made in grad school. I didn’t invite them. I don’t know, it just seemed too soon to invite them to a function like that. Plus I was adamant about having a small guest list.
Post # 12
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
Oh I think it’s fine. We were in a pretty similar situation, and we both ended up inviting each other to our weddings (since the other couple was engaged and their wedding was a couple weeks before ours). I’m so glad we went to each other’s weddings because now we’re close friends and it’s nice to be able to reminisce!
Post # 13
@LilySarah: you dont have to send them a save the date at all for them to be invited, so I’d just skip it, or maybe send one in like…. february?as long as the STD doesnt have a sent out on date then it doesnt matter when you send it 🙂
If they live in the same town its not like they’ll have to make travel arrangements, so I think your fine.
Post # 14
We sent out invitations to newer friends/couples that we wanted to invite to the wedding, after we’d been friends for a few months. We hadn’t sent them a save the date, but we told them we were hoping to be able to invite them 🙂
Post # 15
I think you should invite them. Is your wedding taking place in the same town where you all live? Maybe a STD isn’t necessary?
FI and I are in a similar situation, we’ve made some new friends this past year, but we’re not as close with them as other friends that we’ve known longer. However, these “newer” friends have expressed their happiness/excitement with our engagement, so we thought it would be nice to invite them to the wedding. We’re having a DW, so we’re going to send them STD’s either way. If the friendships happen to fizzle between now and the wedding, then I doubt they would feel pressured to go or think we were being pushy/gift grabby.
Invite them 🙂
Post # 16
we held off on a few STDs for this reason, and just sent the invite. it’s nice because of those (newer friends) who accepted, it was a nice gesture of their wanting to continue/deepen the friendship.
you can either go that route, or as others mentioned, maybe mail their STD later than the rest…your wedding date is in July, so maybe in January?