Post # 1
What is everyone’s opinion on this sticky subject? I know what the etiquette books say – basically everyone over 18 should be invited with a guest. I just have a hard time doing this, even though I have gone to several weddings as a guest and met new people, had a great time – I just don’t really want a lot of people I don’t know at my wedding, when i could have invited more people that I actually talk to (casual friends). I thought I had it all figured out a few months ago when we sent out the STD’s, but now as we are getting ready to send the invites several of our guests are now dating people for anywhere from 1-6 months. What would you do – i don’t want to offend anyone?
Post # 3
We tried to do plus one’s for everyone over the age of 18. We didn’t for myh 80 year old aunt and another aunt I have been in contact much with we didn’t. But pretty much everyone else we allowed a plus one. It just plain sucks going to a wedding by yourself. Especially if you don’t know very many people.
Post # 4
Because most of our guest list is in a marriage or living together, we gave the few single folks a +1 and I really don’t imagine them using it.
I know other rules include they get a guest if they are engaged, living together or have been together for quiet some time.
Post # 5
my wedding is extremely small, i can’t even invite all of the family that i would like to. therefore, i’m not allowing dates unless they’ve been together for a very long time, like living together status. it’s not in my budget, there’s not enough room at my venue, and they’ll just have to deal with it.
Post # 6
We’re only giving people a +1 if we know them and they are in a serious relationship or engaged/living together. We’re cutting out family, I’m not going to cut out more family for +1s that I don’t know!
Post # 7
Basically, if they are in a serious relationship, we gave them a +1, or if it was someone who wouldn’t know many other people at the wedding, like an old university pal.
Post # 8
I am also doing an across the board +1 – I know that a lot of Bee’s are putting restrictions on their +1s like been together for over a year, living together, engaged, or married!
However, I don’t want my friends to feel like some people’s relationships mean more than theirs and I want everyone to feel comfortable so that they can have a good time!
That being said we have met the majority of our guests SO’s as we are having a small wedding!
Post # 9
I told my friends upfront it was a small wedding so no dates unless a guest backed out
Post # 10
We gave our guests a plus one, knowing that they wouldn’t actually bring someone unless they were dating.
We only had, maybe 4 people bring a “guest”, like a newer boyfriend. But we only had 3 tables of friends so it wasn’t a big deal.
Post # 11
I am afraid to give everyone a plus one – our guest list is already close to 200 and I know that if we invite everyone with a plus one some of those people are bound to bring a guest. One of our invited guests was just telling me last weekend oh, I have to find a date for your wedding…I didn’t really know how to respond, as I know that the two other guests she is closest to coming to the wedding will both be bringing their long term/live-in boyfriends. If I invite everyone with a guest that is an extra 40 people that i have not accounted for. 18 people out of the 40 are currently dating people that I have met once or twice….ahh
Post # 12
We’re doing a mostly across-the-board plus one for our friends, because we know they aren’t goign to use it unless it matters. The friends I’ve talked to who are single said they wouldn’t bother bringing anyone when I TOLD them they’d be allowed a date. It’s sort of a college reunion for our crowd and tons of our friends are invited.
Post # 13
It’s really up to you – you don’t have to give anyone a plus-one, but it’s always a nice gesture. I would analyze each guest individually to asses their particular situation. Also if you have more than one guest who is iffy, but those guests are friends wiht each other – you can x out a whole group of people from having plus-one’s because they are sort of each other’s. If that makes any sense.
We are doing that – my FH has about 4 single guy friends who date people occasionally off and on, so I’m sure they would be ABLE to conjur up a date, but since they are friends with each other they’re all getting invited without one.
Bottom line is etiquette actually states you don’t have to give anyone a plus-one because it is your wedding, not a night on the town. It is expensive and intimate – you don’t want just anyone coming.
Post # 15
I can only think of a few friends who aren’t married/engaged/in a serious relationship. For those, we will probably give them a plus 1, just so they have the option of bringing someone. I have received “single” invites before (this was way before I met my FI, and I was not in a serious relationship at the time), and I was totally comfortable. I knew lots of people at the wedding, and there were lots of other singles to mingle with. I think it depends on the demographics of your guests. If there are 99% couples, then I think you should give your single guests the option to bring someone.
Post # 16
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
When I’ve been invited alone to a wedding, I’ve always had other friends there and so it didn’t matter. That’s pretty much how I am determining who gets a +1, since I don’t think it’s my responsibility to sponsor a date night (but I want my single friends to have fun, too). Spouses, fiances, and long-term significant others are invited; flavors of the month are not (unless my single friend won’t know anyone else there).