Post # 1
I know this might seem like I’m getting ahead of things since I’m not quite engaged yet, but I just had to wonder…
My sister and I have never been close. We’ve hated each other since the beginning and were forced into competition with each other (same activities, same school events, etc.) which I believe exacerbated the issue. She is the more slender, prettier version of me who rarely got in trouble as a child, being asked out to prom by my classmates whereas I never had a date and getting her claws in my friends which suddenly alienated me for my sister. In recent years she’s taken to having a condescending attitude whenever she talks to me that makes me only tolerate her in small, spaced doses.
To put it simply: She wouldn’t mind stealing the show at someone else’s wedding. It could be wearing an outrageous white dress or drawing the guests’ attention some other way.
Is it rude to not invite her? I would invite my parents, and maybe my aunts/uncles and cousins out of politeness (family isn’t close, but at least we’re civil and I wouldn’t mind them at my wedding). I’m going to come right out and say that I’m afraid of receiving snarky comments, or her outright stealing the show on my special day. I don’t consider myself high maintenance, but for one day in my life, I would really like people to say that I looked beautiful, instead of focusing on my sister for whatever reason – be it her antics, or whatnot.
Post # 2
chevaldame: how does your parents feel about it? Would they take sides?
Post # 3
Barely_Blush: They would definitely take the parent route and say “Oh, chevaldame, but she’s YOUR SISTER!” Think of them saying in a pouting, yet frustrated/annoyed tone, since they aren’t strangers to me and my sister not getting along. They might put up a fuss, but I don’t think it’d be enough for them to not come or start WWIII
Post # 4
chevaldame: other people will tell you that she’s your family nonetheless and you HAVE to invite. I personally believe if someone treats you horribly, family or not, at some point you have to put your own happiness first and cut people out of your life.
Of course the biggest concern is your parents. Only you know the best. But be prepare you sister might be evil enough to make your parents choose sides. Then, what are you gonna do?
Post # 5
chevaldame: Your relationship with her doesn’t sound good, but I wouldn’t say that it is bad enough to not invite her to your wedding (unless you’re just having a courthouse ceremony). I gather you and your sister are both still relatively young? You two might still grow into an adult friendship one day, and you might regret not having her there. Not inviting a sibling to a wedding is a pretty big deal, and one that she, or your parents, might not be able to forgive.
I would invite her. People really will be focussing on you and your new DH that day, not your sister.
Post # 6
My sister and I don’t speak. When each of us got married, neither invited the other.
Post # 7
chevaldame: Invite her but pay for security that will kick her out if she wears something white/ attempts to do something crazy to upstage you.