Inviting Some Coworkers but Not Others?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@nurse14:  Why would you invite someone to the reception but not ceremony? Wouldn’t it be the other way around?

Anyway, the answer in my opinion is it’s fine to invite to invite a small number from the office. (It’s also ok to invite none, or all). It only becomes a problem when you invite most of the office, because then the ones who aren’t invited are excluded. But to only invite the 3 closest to you – no problem.

For the others, it’s better to not invite to anything at all, because a ceremony-only or reception-only invite is usually bad etiquette. Just say it’s a small wedding, family and close friends only. 

Post # 4
Member
42546 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We have had quite a few women get married in our workplace. Every time some of the co-workers were invited, but not the rest.

The brides invited the colleagues she also socialized with and was close to, outside of the workplace.

No one else got their knickers in a knot.

Like the  pp, I am wondering if you meant “invite them to the ceremony only? I’s usually the size of the reception tht has to be limited due to constraints of capacity and budget.

To those who make comments about attending the wedding, if you don’t plan to invite them, be upfront about it “I would love to have you all there, but that just won’t be possible.”

 

Post # 5
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

6 of my coworkers were invited to my wedding because they are the people I have relationships with. Everyone else knew I was getting married but certainly didn’t expect to be invited. Invite the 3 people you are friends with, no need to invite the 15 others to one part of the event.

Post # 6
Member
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

we opted to invite our coworkers to the ceremony but not the reception. we felt that it was rude to invite some and not all as we work in medium sized offices we didn’t want to offend anyone. They were all fine with this. 

Post # 7
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

It’s okay to invite some but not all of your  co-workers so long as the ones invited are the ones you spend time with outside of work.  But if they are work friends that you only see at work then you really should go for the all or none approach.

Post # 8
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I was conflicted in this too but I ended up not inviting any co workers. I had a hard time inviting some and not others and we already had a huge guest list. I am not super close with any co workers though and I think they are pretty understanding.

Post # 9
Member
2264 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

It’s okay to invite only a few co-workers. You are not obligated to invite everyone you work with.

On a side note, I always find it rude when people presume they are invited to a wedding! I can’t believe your other co-workers have mentioned being excited about going without receiving an invitation! 

Post # 10
Member
5017 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

It’s totally fine to invite whoever you want. Inviting all 15 + spouses (assuming all are married/dating) would add an extra 30 people on! That’s ridiculous. Definitely invite whoever you want.

 

Post # 11
Member
5839 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@nurse14:  Depending on the situation, I might invite all 15, but no +1. More than likely I would just invite the 3 with a +1. But I would ask them not to talk about the wedding at work so to avoid having hurt feelings.

Post # 12
Member
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1997

@nurse14:  I may be the lone dissenter here but I think what you’re planning is a recipe for disaster. Yes, its rude for some of your coworkers to mention they are excited about coming to your wedding. Are you talking about your wedding around those who will not be invited??!However it’s clear these people think they are more important to you than they actually are! When they don’t get invited-it will then become crystal clear that they don’t matter to you like the other 3 in your office.  Could there be fall out from that? absolutely and probably will be. At the very least, it will become extremely uncomfortable in the days to follow.

Just my 2c

Post # 13
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I opted out of inviting any co workers, there’s a lot of closed door gossip that I don’t feel like being the subject of.

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