- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
This can be a touchy subject, so tread carefully!
Unless there's a solid dividing line such as "only nieces/nephews and first cousins are invited, all other kids are out," or there's an age cut-off, I think it would be pretty rude to invite some kids and not others. That's like saying to parents, "we like these kids and want them at our wedding, but your kids aren't good enough!"
If you decide to have an age cut-off, like no children under 10, then it would be nice if you assisted the parents of younger children with finding babysitting, etc.
I think you need to figure out who to include and who not to include in a gracious way. I don't know that it has to be a hard and fast rule (i.e. your coworkers don't need to bring their kids, but family friends could), but it is something you'll want to be careful with.
I think it depends on which kids you want to invite. There should be a clear cut rule, i.e., children over age 12, children who are blood relatives, etc.
We are inviting only the children of immediate family, so my sister's kids and FI's brother's kid. People will understand that better than if you choose based on a more abitrary standard, like children of people you like more or children who are better behaved. It might be nice to do it that way, but would probably cause much more drama.
I agree with pp's advice of making it a blanket reason. Only family or immediate family or over a certain age or under a certain age {babies, etc.} are good groups.
We invited ONLY my fiance's nieces & nephews. I would have prefered not to have them at all, but it meant a lot to him. Our concern was that we didn't want to risk having a baby crying at the ceremony. Since the youngest of his cousins is 5 I think we'll be ok.
We did offer to help guests with young children find childcare, however, so now we're looking for someone to watch 3 babies for the day/night.
I think its all or nothingor you will offend your friends and family to no end; you can invite all your bridal party kids or your own nephews and nieces but once you make exceptions jealousy ensues and people feel bad they had to get babysitters while others did not, think about it
everyone I invited can bring their kids because its mostly my nephews and nieces , 3 are not immediate one's a cousin's kid two is a good friend's kid I stay with when I ski in vermont (payback time)
We invited all because a) we don't want anyone getting mad because their kids were not invited but so and so's were and b) we want to included our family and friends kids because they're just as much a part of our circle as the parents.
I think if you are going to invite some and not all, I would either invite just kids of relatives and not friends or set an age limit so that you have very clear boundries of who is invited and who is not.
We had a blanket rule: if you were under 12, you weren't coming. It was hard to enforce, but we did it. If you're going to invite some and not others, you need a hard and fast rule: no kids that aren't neices/nephews/1st cousins, no kids under the age of 10, no kids that aren't breastfeeding, etc. Otherwise, you'll have a hell of a time explaining to a guest why they had to find a babysitter for your wedding and someone else didn't.
I think the best thing is to really look at the guest list, and figure out how (if) you can make a clear division, like some pps have said. Who is it you are looking to invite? Who do you want to avoid inviting?
I think the easier division is just family, rather than the age thing. What if you made the cut off at 14 years old, but there was a family with a 15 yr old boy and 12 yr old girl? Then the whole family gets to go except the girl? And being a girl that poor 12 yr old probably wanted to go, and might now feel hurt.
But as for simply inviting all kids, I don't think that should necessarily apply. Why shouldn't it be OK, to invite your own nieces and nephews, but not include your coworkers' kids? Or a friend's kids you really don't know? But I don't think it's OK to invite some of your cousins, and exclude others because you don't like them, or feel they'll be obnoxious.
I guess I'm just slightly concerned because right now we have 20 kids (under the age of 12) and that many people can make or break our seating limit. Oh how I hate guest lists...
Just checked! Half of them are family. I'll just invite all the kids, it'll just be less of a headache in the long run, and maybe some people won't bring their kids!
I had to deal with a similar situation. My FH and I originally decided to invite only first cousins but all my fist cousins are older with children (my second cousins) and all of his are younger, most under 18. In the end we decided to include all cousins AND second cousins because it would be difficult to explain why my FH's younger family members were allowed but mine were not.
Good luck
I think that this is the kind of situation that has to be dealt with depending on your family dynamics. For example, I wish to have no children besides my flower girl and ring bearer, but out of respect ... I'm inviting 2 extra children whom will most likely not come. I'm choosing to invite them based on fmil's advice. It is her sisters son-in-law and his 2 children - their mother passed away and so I am inviting them as a family to come because he would not come alone.
I'm not inviting any other children at all. Most of the parents have even made it clear that they want to have fun and party, not watch over their children, and would rather leave them with sitters.
basically you put the name of those who are invited on the invite thats it, you can on the invitation say "no children" however, you should make it a universal rule except for yoru flower girl and ring bearer
and they ll call and beg and be pissed but just stay firm
We are only inviting the kids that are in the wedding (my neices and newphews and FI 6 year old sister). I will not have any other kids there and we have made this clear to everyone and I am sure there will be somebody that breaks the rules but we have made it clear.
The sit down dinner for the kids cost the same amount as an adult- $64.95 and I am sure everybody knows that little kids do not eat much so I can think of a lot of other things to do with that money, like spend it on my honeymoon.
The only kids we are inviting are involved in the ceremony. Althought....many families we are inviting 2 guests (the parents) and I have heard that some families are sending one parent and one child. I guess I will have to wait until my wedding to find out!
Just beware - some people will RSVP with kids even if Family is not on the invite. I agree with pp that you should probably adopt a blanket rule on which kids will be there, nieces & nephews only, only kids in the WP, etc.
Best of luck :)
We only invited children of our family members. We had one RSVP come back with children on it, which were my parents friends. I think my parents talked to them and said they'd understand if they couldn't make because we weren't having children at the reception and it was fine.
If you're firm about your rule and not mean about it, I think'll it shouldn't be too much of a problem.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 52 |
| Brielle | 41 |
| mypinkshoes | 34 |
| Cady | 32 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 32 |
| AshleyR83 | 30 |
| TheLionQueen | 27 |
| his chippymunk | 27 |
| ndreighton | 27 |
| bridalprincess | 27 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| violet25 | 16 |
| andielovesj | 6 |
| lawgirl12 | 6 |
| Brielle | 6 |
| teabiscuit | 6 |
| Steph18 | 4 |
| Cady | 4 |
| Miss T-Rex | 4 |
| KatyElle | 3 |
| jpmorgan | 3 |
What's the etiquette?
I'm working on the dreaded guest list and I'm wondering: if we invite some kids do we have to invite ALL kids? In other words, for some guests I'd just like to invite the mom and dad and not put "and family" to include the kids. Is this tacky? I need your thoughts, please.