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HAVE to? No. Should you? Only you can decide. You'll need to weigh whether not inviting her is worth the drama that inviting her can potentially avoid. If it's understood that you don't like each other, she may not want to come.
Yes you have to invite her! 100% it is the right thing to do. It sucks that you don't like her, and I also have to invite people to my wedding that I don't particularly like, unfortunately when it's someone's fiance/wife/long term or living together girlfriend, there isn't much you can do about it!
Yeah, you definitely do unless you don't invite anyone - married, engaged, long term relationship - with dates. Sucks, I know.
Well, I know of some people who are on a you-can-bring-no-guest-with-you basis. & you COULD do that...but just think of this: when they get married, she may not feel the need to invite you because she may feel the same way about you. BUT, if you invite her..she'll feel obligated (more than likely) to invite you.
Totally your decision, but it might not end well if you don't invite her. I know how you feel though :(
Yes. As much as I want to say no you don't, I really think you have to.
You don't HAVE to invite anyone, but I think it would cause some big issues with your FI and his friend if you didn't. If she was just his girlfriend and they weren't serious, then that's a different story, but since they are engaged it's tricky. Ultimately, it's up to you. If it was me tho, I'd grin and bear it and extend the invite to her too. I think we all end up inviting someone (or ones) that we don't really want to.
Honestly, that is really rude to not invite someone's wife or fiance.
Also, if you are inviting other people + guest (including boyfriends and girlfriends) and then not inviting this guy's fiance, that makes it even worse.
How would you feel if you two got their invite and as his wife, you were not invited?
If they are living together, engaged or married, then you have to invite both. If you don't want to invite her, then you can't invite him since they're a package deal.
I think anyone in a long term committed relationship should have their SO, fiance, or husband/wife invited to the wedding even if you don't like them. There should be enough people at the wedding that you don't have to spend much time talking to her so who cares if you don't like her! You will probably just have to say hi and thank them for coming.
Yes, invite her. You don't start a marriage by ignoring the bonds of marriage. This is why you invite fiance(e)s and spouses even if you don't love them. We're in the same boat (I think everyone must be unless they're very lucky).
But I sympathize heartily!!
The only way you can get around it is if the other guy friends aren't getting plus 1's. Imagine how this friend would feel if he showed up at your wedding and saw everyone else got to bring girlfriends/fiancees/wives and he didn't. Wouldn't end well.
Also, if you both feel strongly about her not coming, another option would be to just explain the situation to him. Assuming he is at least slightly aware you don't like her. You never know, he might swallow it and respect your wishes.
@misshelen, no it's not a mutual dislike - she really likes me, but she causes soo much drama everywhere she goes. I want my wedding to be perfect, and that includes the people I love. Honestly, I have no one else I'm inviting that I do not wish to invite. But my fiance can't not invite him, when he's inviting the rest of his guy friends.
@misslouboutin, no, the rest of our guests are married or whole family's. So that's not as much of an issue??
eeeh... I don't want to be rude, and I wouldn't classify myself as a bridezilla - but I don't like this!
And yes, I know she's planning on inviting me and my fiance to her wedding, she's already told us that (she had a smaller family, so she's inviting more friends). But she lives in NY and I live in MN. I'm not going to her wedding, but she doesn't know that.
Hmm. Well, if she's a legit drama queen, maybe your FI could slip a word in to his boy that he needs to keep her in check. Honestly, though, you probably won't notice her or be paying attention to her. What kind of drama are you talking about? Like catfighting and flashing people or just being bitchy?
If you are going to be making a line, make the line at spouses and those engaged to be married, since they are virtually the same thing. Just because a girl isn't actually married to him yet, doesn't mean that their commitment to each other is any less than that of a married couple.
I'm not trying to say that you are a rude person by any means, I just think that if you are going to be inviting spouses, you should invite this girl even though you don't care for her. I know how stressful the guest list is. We all have people on there we wish we didn't have to invite, but invite to make our fiance happy. Don't worry, at the end of the day, you won't even notice whether or not she is even there. You never know, maybe inviting her and having her share that special day with you and your fiance will improve your relationship with her.
Also, don't be afraid to tell your bartender (discreetly) to cut her off if she is getting out of control.
you must invite her, sorry. but on the plus side, you will not notice her on your wedding day - you have bigger things to worry about. And if you do, what the heck, tell her to be quiet. you can always blame wedding stress after the fact, haha
@kittaychi - no she's not really a bitch. moreso, she has to have all the attention, and if you don't talk to her she makes this big dramatic mess that everyone in the world is mad at her and she didn't do anything wrong and blah blah blah. She has to be invited to EVERYTHING, and be in on every little secret about everyone all the time, and she's so easily hurt and offended that she makes everyone she knows guilt trip about her hurt feelings, even though most of us just know it's a show, and she's super controlling. It's so silly.
yup... it's definitely hard. My fiance isn't the biggest fan of her either, so he wouldn't be upset if we didn't invite her (come to think of it, none of his guy friends like their friends fiance haha)..
I kinda want to hope she won't come simply because she's in NY and my wedding is in MN and it's less than two months before her own wedding...but i think she might anyway.
Well I highly doubt she will be able to be the center of attention at someone else's wedding! And if she tries, I'm sure one of your girls will put her in her place.
it sounds like she'd cause more drama if she wasn't invited than if she came...i think that if you invite her fiance, you have to invite her
i think its pretty hard to invite one and not the other. i had to invite people who i didn't really want to and at the end of it day, it didn't really matter because 1. i didnt see or even notice them 2. them being there did not really affect me either way
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My fiance has had the same group of friends since elementary school, and it's a pretty big group of male friends. Even though we decided we're doing just family and really close friends, he felt the need to invite every single one of his guy friends...ok fine I decided not to argue with it.
But one of his guy friends is engaged (they got engaged two months after we did) and are getting married in July. We're getting married in May.
I don't like this guys' fiance very much, do we HAVE to invite her because she's his friend's significant other?