(Closed) Inviting someone that didn't invite you

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think you should only send her a Save the Date if you actually intend to invite her.  I wouldn’t worry about whether or not she’s inviting you, but rather whether or not you want her at your wedding.

One of my bridesmaids is my best friend from 2nd grade, she didn’t invite me to her wedding LOL…she’s kind of a spur of the moment kind of gal 🙂

Post # 5
Member
10563 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

It’s not a tit-for-tat situation.  There are people who I invited to my wedding, but was not invited to theirs and vice versa.  If you are not sure if you will be inviting her, do NOT send her a STD.  STDs should only go to people that you are sure you will be inviting.  You can be upset about not being invited, but it would be very rude to give her a STD and then not invite her.  I think in general it’s best not to send STDs to coworkers or friends from a team or something like that unless you are extremely close; you never know what could happen in a few months.

Post # 6
Member
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@MrsRodriguez:  That is really awkward… with a situation like this though its up to you. I wouldn’t not invite her out of spite because of her not inviting you to her’s, but if you feel that you shouldn’t invite her because it seems that she has a problem with being jealous you then do what you need to do. And I wouldn’t not invite her just because she didn’t invite you if you really do consider her a friend. The reason I personally wouldn’t invite her would be because I didn’t feel like she was a supportive friend. Who knows what her reasons are for not inviting you to her’s (it seems awfully odd), and I wouldn’t dwell on it.

Its really up to you though… I think it could go either way if we were to try and figure out what would be the proper etiquette. Would it make things weird if you didn’t invite her too (after all she isn’t inviting you to her’s… how could she really try to get upset with you)? Would you be disappointed if she wasn’t there? If the answer to both is no then I wouldn’t bother… haha, especially if the answer to the second question is no…

Post # 7
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Well, realistically, she gets to invite who she wants to invite and you get to invite who you want to invite. I have invited people to my wedding whose recent weddings I have not been invited to. I understand that it’s annoying that she doesn’t seem to be inviting you, but eh.

 

Post # 8
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

Never has such a thing happened! My friend invited me to attend the wedding

Post # 10
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Don’t send her a save the date unless you intend to invite her.  It sucks that she isn’t inviting you, but who knows, maybe something came up with her budget or her venue’s capacity.  What should matter is whether or not you want her at your wedding.  The end.

Post # 11
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

forget about her wedding and whether or not she invited you.

do you want her at yours or not?

 

 

Post # 12
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@distracts:  “Well, realistically, she gets to invite who she wants to invite and you get to invite who you want to invite. I have invited people to my wedding whose recent weddings I have not been invited to. I understand that it’s annoying that she doesn’t seem to be inviting you, but eh.

+1.

If you are happy to invite her to your wedding regardless of if she invites you to hers, send her a save the date. If her invitation to your wedding, is conditional of you receiving one to hers, I would not send her a save the date as it doesn’t look like you are on her guest list. 

Post # 13
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

perhaps she knew she would get your address when you sent out your STDs 🙂

The topic ‘Inviting someone that didn't invite you’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors