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Id say since you technically didnt invite her to wedding, I personally wouldnt invite her to the shower. Can you talk to your friend who will be bringing her as a guest to get a feel for what she thinks H would think? Maybe shed just love to celebrate with you and would want to go to both.
I wouldn't invite her. I do think it's sort of a solicitation of a gift, and an honor bestowed upon invited guests only.
I agree with the above posters, I wouldn't invite her to the shower. Maybe she might end up expressing interest in going later, which would be ok. I'd just invite her to the bachelorette party for now.
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So I used to be best friends with this girl in high school (we'll call her H), and we have since drifted apart. Due to guest list constraints I was unable to invite her to the wedding, but I just received one of my other friends reply cards (we'll call her J) and as her "and guest" she is bringing H.
I'm really excited about this, and am inviting J to both my b party and lingerie shower, which is the afternoon after my b party (so its kind of a weekend long girls extravaganza). The lingerie shower is just a few of my girlfriends, nothing big or extravagant. I would love to invite H to both, but should I only invite her to the b party so she doesn't feel the need to get me a gift? The only reason I would consider inviting her to the shower is because she's good friends with everyone there and its kind of a run-on from the b party (we may even have a sleepover after the b party that runs into the shower), but I know its an etiquette no-no to invite someone to the shower if they weren't initially invited to the wedding. Ideas?