Post # 1
This is my first post, but I’ve learned so much from you already!!!
Ok, here is the situation! Please help!
My fiance and I have had such a wonderful time planning this wedding together! The only source of stress is the guest list. We wanted a smaller wedding (75 guests) before we put together the invite list. Then, we thougth 100 would be ok, though we would prefer a smaller wedding. Our families are both divorced so we have A HUGE family and extended family–right now family accounts for 94 guests. Hense the post.
My parents got divorced when I was 2 and my mom remarried shortly after. We’ve had annual get-togethers with my step-dad’s family so I am close to them and REALLY want them at the wedding! My dad got remarried 8 years ago and let’s just say I’m not the president of my step-mom’s fan club.
My FI and I had dinner with my Dad and step-mom after getting engaged and she wants to invite her extended family and friends. I had anticipated this so I tried to put them on the guest list–but I couldn’t remember their names because I’ve only met them a handful of times.
Please note that my dad and step-mom are not reasonable people and they are VERY sensitive and take things out of context and blow them out of proportion. I had initially thought it would be easier to invite her family than dealing with the headache, but she’s added more people to her side than my mom’s side. My dad and step-mom have offered to pay the difference in costs, but we just don’t want a big wedding.
How do I tell my step-mom that her family is not invited but my step-dad’s family is??
Thanks so much!!!
Post # 3
You could do like my husband did and tell them they are but send no invite! I don’t exactly suggest that method though.
Maybe to keep your small wedding and avoid the drama, split the number up and make them decide.
If you want your small wedding, then do it. While we did end up with about 50-60 guests, our guest list was filled with a bunch of people neither of us knew. Don’t let them bully you.
Post # 4
Book a venue that will hold the number of people you want at your wedding. Then you can honestly say that your venue cannot accomodate all the people she would like to invite.
Post # 5
I think this is one of those situations where the less information you give, the better. You don’t have to tell her that you’re inviting your stepdad’s family, just explain that you are trying to keep it a small, intimate wedding and you’d prefer not to have people there that you don’t really know.
We are inviting FI’s stepmom’s family because we absolutely know they won’t come, minus one of her brothers who we actually know well and like. Her other siblings and parents live in FL and the Dominican Republic and don’t even know us, so it’s easy to just invite them and know they won’t come.
Post # 6
I agree with the less information you give the better. It’s understandable that you want to invite your stepfather’s family. You were young when they got married so you were able to grow up with his family. I think the fact that you can’t remember your stepmother’s family by name means alot. Meeting someone a handfull of times doesn’t mean you have to invite them to a wedding. Probably easier said than done but I would stick to what you want.