(Closed) Inviting the officiant…

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think ettiquette-wise, you’re suppossed to invite them.  The dinner is for all of the people involved in the wedding.  Some else may know better than me.  We’re planning on inviting ours (also from out of town and a previous stranger).

Post # 4
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Yes, I agree. I think you should invite him and his wife if he is married. If he won’t feel comfortable celebrating with you and your family he can politely decline.

Post # 5
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

for me it was easy because we know our officiant well, but i do think it is customary to invite the officiant to the rehearsal dinner. it will also give your officiant a chance to get to know you and your family better before the wedding! and my guess is that if the officiant DOES feel its awkward, he will just politely decline.

Post # 6
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Would it be totally rude of me to highjack this post, as I too was up last night thinking of this? (I would think, Miss Static, that if you feel close to this person and would enjoy having him at the dinner, than invite him!)

My questions is, we’re planning on just "renting a rev" or something basic like that. Is it customary to invite him/her to the reception and feed him/her as well? I don’t forsee us making any sort of relationship with this person, we’ll just have him/her there because he/she will be official. And we won’t need this person to say a prayer before dinner or anything either. Help!

Post # 8
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

we love our officiant too. i wish i could take her on to be my serogate aunt. shes amazing. we arent having a formal rehearsal dinner, so we invited her to the cocktail hour (she already told us she had family obligations that would require her to leave after that). i thought about sending her a formal invitation, but since we found her so close to the wedding, i just invited her over the phone. hopefully, thats not considered bad etiquette…

Post # 9
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

My crazy southern etiquette wedding coordinator said that officiants should be invited to the rehearsal dinner and the reception as well as their spouses.  She does most of the weddings at my church and said that the minister often declines the rehearsal but sometimes attends the reception.  We are having 2 ministers officiate our wedding because we have a new minister at our church that has been there for only about 1 year.  I grew up with my old minister as he was my minister for 29 years.  So, both are doing the wedding.  I guess they will take turns on what they do.  I’m going to have to invite two ministers and their wives to everything!  

Post # 10
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

ugh, sometimes I hate etiquette

Post # 11
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

You should most definitely invovle your officiant to the rehearsal dinner and the reception.  The rehearsal dinner is an opportunity for your honored wedding party to meet, greet and feel comfortable with the others they will have to work closely with  on your wedding day.  I personally would rather my wedding party break the ice a day prior to the ceremony than the actual ceremony.

Good Luck!

Post # 12
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

go ahead and invite him.

We are inviting our officiant – but that is because not only is she my family’s (retired) minister, she’s also one of my mom’s best friends and thus a friend of the family. 🙂

Post # 13
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I had the SAME EXPERIENCE with my FI and our officiant!  We adore him!  We invited him to the rehearsal lunch (since he’ll have to travel an hour to the rehearsal anyway!) and we invited him to the reception (although he can’t make it since he has another wedding).  I can’t wait to design his rehearsal invitation!!

Post # 14
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree that the officiant and significant other should be invited to the rehearsal dinner.  We don’t have an officiant picked out yet, so I’m not really happy about the idea of inviting the officiant & spouse to the reception.  I know it is the right thing to do, etiquete-wise, but I would hate to have to cut some of our friends from the guest list as a result.

Post # 15
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

How about ceremony musician? Should he/she be invited to the reception if nobody knows him/her personally?

Post # 16
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

For officiants (even rent-a-revs), it is customary to invite them and their spouses to both the rehearsal dinner and the reception.  I believe it is also customary for most of them to turn you down if they do not know you well.  (I could be wrong, but that’s what I’ve heard.) 

I think you probably don’t have to invite the ceremony musician, but I’m interested to see what other people think!

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