Inviting the Reverend.

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@nearly-mrs-R:  We are inviting our pastor (UCC church) to the reception. The general rule I have heard is you invite them and their spouse -and they usually decline. 

Post # 4
2057 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

Depends on how well you know the Rev. I don’t think we are. It would be different story had we planned to get married in my hometown.

ETA: We are getting married by an Anglican/United priest. We are requesting for an outdoor Anglican ceremony.

Post # 5
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

@nearly-mrs-R:  You don’t have to do anything. I think that it would be really nice, though. After all, they were important enough to preside over your ceremony ;). Up to you, though!

Post # 7
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

@nearly-mrs-R:  Yeah! Plus, besides you two the pastor/priest/rabi/iman/whatever is probably the most important person lol. I’m sure they will appreciate it!

Post # 8
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@nearly-mrs-R:  I cannot imagine he/she would take offence at receiving an invitation.  It is somewhat possible if she/he does not receive one.

Post # 9
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

It is always appropriate to invite the one who did the Officiating to join you at the Reception…

More so… if it is a Pastor / Reverand / Minister / Priest / Rabbi etc that you have some sort of relationship with… Head of your Congregation – Childhood / Family Church – the one who led your PreWedding Prep Classes etc

(If it is a Paid Officiant… someone hired JUST for the occasion, they need not be invited… altho it is a nice gesture all the same)

And if they are married they should receive a Plus One for their spouse.

Traditionally they are seated at the “Parent’s Table” as they are the most Honoured of Guests.  And if asked, they’ll usually agree to say Grace at the meal.

Usually, they will make their good-byes shortly after the meal (the Cutting of the Cake is the “traditional” nod that a Guest’s obligations to stay are completed)… it would be rare to see a member of the Clergy stick around for the Dancing / Drinking portion of the Evening (unless they are family)

Hope this helps,


Post # 10
10886 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@nearly-mrs-R:  My DH is a pastor, and we have been invited to the receptions of all but two weddings that he has performed.  (The two exceptions were very small weddings that included family and very close friends, and the couples did not have traditional receptions following their ceremonies.)

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