Post # 1
Originally I told my Maid/Matron of Honor I did not want a shower because all of my 60 invited guests are so spread out. If I had a shower in my hometown only about 10 people live there. If I had a shower in FI’s home town only about 15 people live there and if I have one in the town I currently live only 10 people live here. The towns are all at least 3-5 hours from each other.
Esentially I wouldn’t expect people to drive 3-5 hours for just a shower so I declined a shower because I didn’t think there’d be enough people in one area to make it worth it. Now I’m feeling kind of sad and wanting the bridal experience even if there are only 10 people in attendance.
My question is, do I invite the people that are 3 hours or so from the shower city still even though I know and don’t expect them to come?
Post # 3
Yes – you never know who will come. I’d go anywhere for a good friend.
Post # 4
I’ve flown four hours to attend a shower before so don’t automatically assume people will not show because of the travel. Maybe your fiance’s family will want to make it a fun roadtrip carpool to be there.
Post # 5
Sure, invite them!
If you really feel funny about it, with Out of Town friends (my close ones), I’ve sent emails with a heads up with something a la “wanted you to be invited, but understand if you can’t make it”
Post # 6
Definitely invite them! Some may be able to make it and it’s a nice gesture to them to see that you *wanted* them to be there, as opposed to just not inviting them at all.
Post # 7
I think you should definitely have a shower- like the PP said, you never know who will come! I gave my mom a list of everyone invited to the wedding and told her not to invite certain people to my shower because of the distance they live from here- I did not want anyone to feel obligated to buy me a gift just because they got an invite. Soooo…the first gift we received in the mail was from one of my college roommates who lives halfway across the country. Somehow my mom didn’t follow my instructions and all of my friends got an invite- even if they lived 1000 miles away. So, even if not everyone can make it, it is very fun to receive gifts in the mail!
Post # 8
You should give the person hosting your shower a complete list of the women whom you are inviting to the wedding and whom you think it appropriate also to invite to your shower. If these women are close friends and family members, even if they cannot attend the festivities, some likely will want to send a gift anyway. Also, as some PPs noted, some of those ladies may surprise you and want to travel to be there with and for you. I had several friends and family members who could not make either the wedding or the shower who still purchased shower gifts for me. One friend had a conflict with one of her children’s schedules on the day of my wedding and took great pains to travel about two hours in each direction just to attend my shower, since she already knew she could not attend the wedding.
Post # 9
Thanks, ladies. I just didn’t want to seem gift grabby as if I’m inviting them just to get a gift when I know they probably can’t/won’t come. At the same time I don’t want to hurt anyones feelings by not being invited.
Post # 10
My friend got married last year, I was invited to the wedding, but not the shower. Another girl who lives in my same town got invited to both. I was so pissed that I was not EVEN invited- regardless if I could make it or not – that I didn’t make the 3 hour drive to her wedding. (I was having car troubles too.. but I could have worked it out hard enough to make it… I just decided that it wasn’t worth it to go to the wedding)
Seems pathetic, but I felt it was a dis of some sort. She should have invited me to the shower regardless.
You never know, they might show up!