- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I work in an office where we’re seperated into “clusters” of about 20 employees. When we started planning our wedding, I wanted to invite most of the people in my cluster, but didn’t want to make anyone feel left out, and we’re a pretty tight group, as work groups go… so we decided to invite all twenty of them, plus our two supervisors. I gave out Save the Dates sometime last year, everyone seemed really excited and thought it was nice that I invited everyone so we could all have a “cluster bonding experience” and I think most of the twenty will probably come to the wedding.
The wrinkle: three new people were added to our cluster in November of last year. I haven’t really gotten to know them beyond a very casual work basis, but they all seem really nice. But now I can’t figure out whether or not I should invite them, too. On one hand, I don’t want them to feel left out if *everyone* else is going. But on the other hand, it seems weird to give a wedding invitation to someone you barely know – and I literally don’t even know if they’re in relationships or not, so I wouldn’t know whether to give a plus one… and it seems strange to invite someone who you don’t even know at that basic level. I also don’t want them to feel obligated to come or to bring a gift or anything! I feel like it might put them in an awkward position of feeling like they either have to come and shell out for a gift for someone they barely know – or else miss out on our big “bonding experience.” (And I know that gifts aren’t mandatory, but we live in NYC and it’s going to be a fairly large and fancy wedding… so I feel like there might be more pressure to give a gift if you’re going to a wedding here than maybe other places in the country/world.) I thought about inviting them but being like, “Hey, we really don’t expect gifts,” but I also don’t want to make it seem like I’d really be *expecting* a gift in the first place.
Soo… what do you think I should do? Not invite them, since they weren’t here when the STD’s were distributed? Invite them, but say something like, “Just come and enjoy yourself, no gifts please.” Or just invite them and hope that they make whatever gifting decision they’re comfortable with?